


Le Coup de Soleil

by Ponyonewt



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And they need hugs, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Credence is very patient, Everybody Lives, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Perceval does stupid things, Perceval is 6 years older than Credence, Perceval is Goldstein's brother, but he is also cute, everything will be ok, they are both young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26732368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponyonewt/pseuds/Ponyonewt
Summary: Love is complicated, and sometimes it's painful. Since Credence met Perceval, his whole world revolves around him. But will it ever be reciprocal?The story unfolds over a period of ten years, with moments that mark the relationship between the two young men.
Relationships: Credence Barebone/Original Percival Graves
Comments: 35
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ^^  
> This is my first work with Gradence and my first time writting in English (yep, I am French) ^^  
> So I hope it will not be too bad... ^^  
> I hope you will like it <3

_Prologue_

It had already been a year since the California sun burned the skin of young Credence. Having spent the first 10 years of his life in a small, rainy town in the eastern United States, he was struggling to get used to the heat and the strange feeling of being alive.

Cowering on his floral-patterned towel, unable to bring himself to take off his oversized T-shirt, he watched in amusement as young Tina splashed Queenie with laughter. The two twin sisters were adorable, so tenderly sincere that Credence had been afraid of them at first.

But Tina and Queenie had insisted that he become their friend, and since his arrival at Cora Lovegood's house last summer, he had spent most of his free time with them. They were the daughters of Marlabelle Goldstein, Mrs. Lovegood's best friend and neighbour, and they were both very smart, generous and funny (although he didn't always understand Queenie's jokes).

His heart missed a beat when his eyes landed on Percival Graves' tanned back. He was the step-brother of the Goldenstein sisters. Well, more or less. From what he had understood, with his understanding of an 11-year-old child, was that Mrs. Goldstein had married Silas Graves several years before. Silas already had a son from a first marriage, Percival, and she already had the twins. Then the couple finally divorced after only three years of living together. And by a strange set of circumstances, Percival had been placed in the custody of Marlabelle.

Stories of families, arguments, money, resentment, violence, which overwhelmed the young boy as they terrified him. All he knew was that Percival called Marlabelle "Mabelle", that his mother was never mentioned and that he categorically refused to talk about his father with anyone.

Over the last six months, Credence had developed a kind of fascination for Percival, for the way he spoke, moved, laughed out loud, and put his eyes on the little boy's face as if he were made of pure crystals. The realization of this feeling had made him panic, convinced that, as Ma had so often repeated to him, he would be judged for his impure thoughts. Yes, Credence found the young man unsettling, reassuring, enigmatic and handsome. Percival had just turned seventeen, and without knowing it, he had become the center of the universe of a young and fragile soul.

The red tained his cheeks and he cowered a little more. In the distance, Theseus and Newt Scamander had just joined the Goldsteins. Newt was a school friend of Credence and the twins, a strange but friendly boy who had developed an obsession with unusual animals. Credence liked him a lot, especially when Newt stood up for him and shared with him his latest discoveries about species of bat or bird. But he found it much harder to get along with Theseus (whom Percival called Theo), Percival's best friend, who always seemed to take a malicious pleasure in teasing the black-haired boy. Credence tightened his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees, displaying a scowling look.

“Come on Credence, come and play with us!" Tina suddenly called him. 

“No, I'd rather not...” he smiled.

“Come on, the waves are perfect!” Queenie insisted.

“I don't like the water... I think.”

“Oh, the little pearl is afraid to come out of her shell!” Theseus laughed.

It was exactly for this kind of comment that the little boy was having trouble with the oldest Scamander. He grimaced slightly before answering:

“I don't feel like swimming, that's all...”

But of course, Theseus was not satisfied with this answer, and he came running towards Credence. The boy got up to escape him, for fear that the young man would water him as he had done last time. But against all expectations, he grabbed Credence by the waist and, with a quick gesture, placed him on his shoulder before running off towards the sea.

“No! Theseus, no! Let go of me!" Credence shouted , more panicked than ever.

“Theo, let him go!" Percival shouted, running towards them to try to intervene.

Before Credence could fight any harder, Theseus threw him into the waves, laughing out loud. The little boy stayed underwater for a moment, and the thought of never coming to the surface crossed his mind. But the reflexes were faster, and he emerged from the waves, breathing deeply and painfully, with water up to his waist.

Theseus's proud smile quickly faded as he noticed the deep scars that laced Credence's entire body through the white T-shirt. It wasn't the salt of the sea that suddenly burned the boy's eyes, but the hard realization that nothing would ever be the same again. They had seen, they had discovered how strange he was, how frail, broken, different, disgusting he was. He suddenly burst into tears, wrapping his arms around him as Queenie and Tina joined them, looking confused and worried. 

Theseus was unable to move; his mouth open like a fish out of water. At the end of what seemed to last an eternity, Credence felt someone wrapping him in a towel, a towel that was soaking wet but covering his thin body. Before he could react, Percival lifted him up in his arms, carrying him close to him as he sometimes did with Tina when she scratched her knees.

In a furious tone, he said to the oldest of the Scamanders:

"You're such an asshole! He told you to leave him alone, why don't you ever listen?"

"I didn't think... I didn't think it was that bad..." the other one stammered, white as a sheet.

"You're just an idiot Theo sometimes!"

Without waiting for his friend's reaction, Percival brought Credence back to the beach. The little boy was shaking like a leaf and sobbing violently and painfully. He still had his arms around his ribs, as if he was trying to protect himself. Percival replaced the soaked towel with a dry one, being careful not to reveal Credence's body during the exchange.

Then he took him in his arms again, turning his body into a shield, ignoring the boy's hands pushing against his chest to make him move backwards. He needed to make him understand that he was not alone, that none of this was his fault.

"Everyone saw..." Credence cried, giving up for the moment to push Percival away. 

"No, no one saw anything, Credence."

"Everyone saw, I'm horrible, I'm disgusting..."

Percival's heart was torn at this statement. How could he think that? Credence was so convinced that he would end up infecting the Goldsteins if he stayed too close, infecting them with his sin, his darkness...

"No. Nobody saw anything and you're not horrible, okay?" Percival insisted.

Credence pushed him back brutally, grabbing his own black hair as if he was trying to tear them off, closing his eyes before shouting:

"I hate myself! I hate myself! I should never have come today!"

Percival glanced over his shoulder. Queenie and Tina stood there, not knowing how to act, both anxious and saddened by what had just happened. He gestured to them to bring him his phone and Tina did so immediately, rummaging through his backpack while the young man returned his attention to Credence.

"Don't say that..." he whispered, stroking the dark hair.

"I'm disgusting..." he repeated.

In a tender, yet authoritative gesture, Percival framed the boy's face and lifted it up towards him, waiting for him to finally open his eyes shining with tears.

"You're not disgusting! It's not your fault, okay? Breath Credence, please, everything will be all right..."

The younger one nodded gently, still convinced that Percival was wrong but unable to tell him. Tina handed the phone to her brother, and before he could use it, Credence huddled against his chest, his face buried in his neck. Percival froze for a moment.

"Can we stay like this for a while?" the black-haired boy asked.

Percival closed his arms around the skinny little body, resting his cheek against the top of his skull before answering:

"Of course. As long as you need it..."


	2. Chapter 2

_ Chapter 1 : _

_ _

There was something fascinating, captivating, infinite in the way he moved. Credence would have found it difficult to define precisely what caught his attention, but he always felt that same whirlwind in the hollow of his belly when he observed Percival from the other side of the bay window.

It had already been 5 years since his feelings had taken root in his heart, spreading through his veins, inhabiting his soul like a litany impossible to avoid. He couldn't see them as anything other than gangrene, a pernicious disease stemming from his unhealthy spirit. He could almost clearly hear Ma's voice telling him " _you need to be absolved of your sins, washed of your impurity, you must burn the flesh to extract the devil from it_ ". But like a man contemplating the object of his fall, Credence was unable to turn his eyes away from Percival who, at 22, had nothing to envy the models in the magazines. 

“You drool...”

Tina's mocking voice brought him back to reality. Credence suddenly turned towards her, frowning.

“No!" he defended himself, passing his fingers over the corner of his mouth to check.

“Yes, you're drooling! You look at him as if he were the eighth wonder of the world!”

“Who's a wonder?” Queenie asked, joining them.

The three friends were settled in the living room, enjoying the last weeks of the summer before school resumed. Credence and the twins had remained inseparable, but Newt had had to attend a school closer to his home, separating the small group. Queenie dropped into the sofa next to the young man, letting out a long, overly dramatic sigh before looking up at Tina, still waiting for her answer.

“In your opinion?” Tina sighed

“Oh, honey, again? I thought you'd moved on...”

“That is what we all hoped for...”

“It's tragic that you remain trapped in this feeling... "

“Why don't you go see him? " the brunette added. 

Sometimes they talked so fast, Credence could barely keep up. He looked at them one by one, before swallowing with difficulty and simply replied:

“To tell him what? "

“That you've been in love with him forever! " Queenie exclaimed.

“That you think about him all the time! " Tina added.

“That you want him to kiss you! "

“That you want to end up in his bed! "

Credence stared at her, looking shocked while Queenie glanced at her sister with an angry look. The young man cleared his throat and said:

“One: you're obsessed Tina, and two: there's no chance that any of these things will ever happen. "

“Why not? " they both exclaimed at the same time.

Credence closed his eyes. This discussion would lead him nowhere, as it did every time he agreed to talk about his feelings for Percival. He felt ridiculous and he hated it. He couldn't bear this tiny hope that the two sisters were trying to create in his mind. It made him sick enough as it was, he didn't need to imagine himself as the center of a romantic comedy for teenagers.

“Because it's... it's... He's in a relationship with Seraphina now, and he's not attracted to boys, and I'm much too young, and... And it's Percival, and he's a thousand times better than me. I'm just going to look stupid and childish, and I refuse to give Theo one more reason to make fun of me! "

“But apart from that, what are you risking? It's not as if you don't know him well or as if he's a star, he's our brother. You've known him for years! "

“Another reason to not say anything... "

“Do you want me to do it for you? " Tina suggested.

The air got stuck in Credence's lungs, as if the young woman had just punched him. Panic gripped his heart and he hastened to answer:

“No! "

“But Credence, you... "she tried again.

“No, Tina! "

His tone was firm and irrevocable, so the two sisters did not insist. Credence had this unpleasant feeling that the shame he felt stuck to his skin, like some kind of parasite that could not be removed. _You are evil, you are weak, you are sinful..._ He took a deep breath to try to regain his calm, and as if she was reading his thoughts, Queenie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He addressed her with a half-smile, that wasn't really convincing, before Tina offered to go for ice cream. The three friends left the living room and went to the kitchen where Marabelle was already preparing dinner.

“Credence, are you staying for dinner with us tonight? " she asked.

“I think Cora would like me to come home... "

“I'll send her a message to invite her, that way it's settled. "

Without giving him time to answer, she wiped her hands on her apron before quickly typing a message on her phone. Tina rummaged in the freezer for a while before returning to Queenie and Credence with the ice cream. Marabelle observed them with a tender look before returning to her vegetables. Then, like a tornado, Percival and Theseus came running into the kitchen, laughing like two children who have just made a mischief. Credence forced himself to concentrate on his ice cream to avoid ogling young Graves' torso.

“Mabelle, can I have a birthday party here? " Percival asked .

“Oh a party!" Tina exclaimed, almost jumping from her chair.

“Not for you Tiny Tina!" Theseus laughed.

The three companions gave him an angry look and the eldest Scamander stuck his tongue out at them. _Very mature, Theo..._ Credence thought.

“Mommy!" Tina insisted.

Marlabelle put down her knife, placing her fists on her hips, looking at each of them carefully, as she did every time she had to make a decision about them. This kind of moment vaguely resembled a jury about to render its verdict, and Credence found it a bit scary. Queenie and Tina's eyes gleamed with hope and Percival seemed vaguely annoyed at the thought of having to have a party with his sisters.

“Ok, here's what I propose: you can have the house for your party on the condition that your sisters can stay. I don't want anything broken or damaged when I come back, no arguments either, and I'll be at Cora's if there's any problem. "

The twins jumped joyfully, almost dropping their ice cream on the floor, while Percival sighed noisily, visibly unhappy.

“But why?" he said exasperated. "If they stay, it will be either a night without alcohol or a babysitting party... "

“Take it or leave it, Percival," Marlabelle said.

“Can Credence come too? " Queenie asked.

The interested party blushed violently, suddenly uncomfortable, carefully avoiding Percival's angry look. Credence suddenly developed a great interest in the tiling of the central worktop.

“Of course. "Mrs. Goldstein replied.

“Great! As if two little girls weren't enough, you had to add a third one... "

Credence had the impression that someone had just slapped him. It was even worse when he heard Theseus's sneer. He slumped down on his seat, trying to hold back the tears that came to his eyes. 

“We're not little girls anymore, we're 16 years old," Tina defended herself. "And I will not allow you to be mean to Credence! "

“Apologize, Percy!" Queenie raved.

Queenie was rarely angry, but she hated it more than anything when Credence was attacked. The young man straightened up a little, displaying a falsely indifferent air and saying in a weak voice :

“No, that's all right... "

In front of them, Marlabelle also seemed dissatisfied with Percival's behaviour.

“Percival, this evening will be with your sisters and Credence whether you like it or not. Now apologize before I change my mind. "She said

“It really doesn't matter, I'm not offended. "

Percival put a hand on his forehead, before turning to Credence with a sad look in his eyes.

“You're offended and I'm sorry. " He said

“No worries, Percival. " the younger one smiled .

The conversation could have ended there, and honestly, Credence would have preferred that the discussion finished with Percival's tender smile, but Tina didn't seem to think so.

“You've really become a dick! " she said dryly.

“Tina, your language!" Marlabelle intervened.

“Sorry, but it's true! Since he's been dating Sera, he's been awful with Credence! "

Credence blushed even more and turned his attention back to the work surface again, in a vain attempt to disappear.

“It's OK, he apologized, Pearl will get over it. " Theseus sighed

“Shut up, Theo! "

“Tina, your language! "

Marlabelle clapped her hand flat on her cutting board, making the poor carrots jump. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and usually that was enough to stop Tina, but today the young woman seemed angrier than ever. Percival suddenly approached her, furious, before saying: 

“Why do you insist like that, I said I was sorry! And it's totally false, I'm not awful with Credence! And it has nothing to do with Sera!"

“Then tell him! "

“Tell him what? "

“Tell Credence that you care about him! "

It was going too far, Tina was destroying everything, destroying what little attention Percival still had for him. He hated to see the face of the young Graves white; his features drawn by anger.

“Tina, stop..." Credence whispered.

Strangely, his voice seemed momentarily to soothe Percival, who gave him a puzzling look, as if he suddenly remembered that Credence was right next to his sister. Tina turned to Credence before speaking again: 

"What?" she said. “Before, Percy used to spend whole afternoons combing your hair, reading you books, talking to you, watching movies, playing with you outside or playing video games, but now he's acting like you have a disease! "

It was certainly the wrong thing to say, because the anger returned to Percival's face. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white, and the tension made Credence shiver. 

“You're lying!" Percival shouted. "I don't do that! "

“It's the truth, admit it! You're ashamed to spend time with Credence, admit it! "

“Forget it, Tina, I'm sure Pearl's doing very well. "

Theseus' remark didn't help the situation at all.

“Stay out of it, Theo! " Queenie intervened. "And stop calling him Pearl ! "

Tina came a little closer to her brother, with a black look on her face, trying to shoot him with her eyes, even if she was one head shorter than him. Credence could hardly understand why she was being so stubborn. It hurt him even more to realize that Percival really had trouble recognizing that nothing had changed in his way of looking at him.

“Tell him, Percival! Tell him that you care about him!" Tina repeated.

“Tina that's enough now! Leave your brother alone. "

Marlabelle's voice seemed to bring them all back to reality. Percival turned away from his sister to quickly stare at Credence before turning his heels and returning to the garden, slamming the door behind him. Theseus sighed before leaving the kitchen to join his friend outside.

“He's so dramatic..." Queenie sighed.

The two sisters returned to their chairs, their faces sad and upset. Credence felt like crying again and he cowered, trying to swallow the painful ball at the back of his throat. Marlabelle seemed to be looking for the right words to say. She didn't like it at all when her children argued, and even less when it involved Credence. Since Cora had taken the young man in, she couldn't help but want to protect him. It was probably this same feeling that had made Tina so angry at Percival. A sigh passed her lips.

Queenie turned to her sister and said : 

“You shouldn't have done that, Tina... "

And that was exactly what Mrs. Goldstein thought. Even if she had done this to protect Credence, Tina should never have insisted so much. Marlabelle knew how complicated the subject " _Credence_ " was for Percival, even if the young man was not aware of it. Before her daughter could answer her sister, she said:

“Tina, you've gone too far, you know how hard it is for Percy lately. "

"It's always hard for Percival! "she defended herself. "I hate it when he is mean to Credence! It's nobody's fault if his studies are complicated or if his girlfriend is paranoid! Why is he always the one being protected?! "

“Because he needs it. "

Credence's soft voice seemed to take away the tension that remained in the room. Marlabelle gave him a tender smile that the young man returned. The poor ice-creams looked like nothing and had been left on a plate. The argument left behind a feeling of tiredness and sadness that Credence would have preferred to escape. As if she was reading her mind, Queenie turned to him and asked in a joyful voice:

“What am I going to wear for the party? "

* * *

He should never have listened to Queenie. That black shirt didn't suit him at all. He felt like he resembled a doll that the Goldstein sisters had spent the day playing with. But he couldn't blame them, they had put so much heart into it. Tina had repeatedly said that he looked like a Vogue model with his silk top, high-waisted linen trousers and long brown curls tied in a loose bun. Credence put one of his rebellious locks back behind his ear before bringing the sweet mixture that Queenie had just brought him to his lips.

Tina and her sister had already had too much to drink and were staggering dangerously in the middle of the dance floor. Credence watched them for a moment, a joyful look on his face.

“Wow, Pearl! What a makeover! "

His smile immediately faded, and he displayed a tense expression to Theseus, who quickly approached him. _Terrific... Great..._ Newt followed his brother and gave a friendly greeting to Credence before turning his attention to the Goldstein sisters. Credence had suspected for some time that his friend had feelings for Tina, but he didn't want to rush them or interfere with them. He had his share of drama and romantic tragedy to deal with...

“They did a great job with you. "

“Thanks... I guess. "

He didn't want to thank him at all, but if it would stop Theo from talking, he was willing to sacrifice himself. He took another sip, and the alcohol slowly began to take effect. He had drunk less than many of the other guests, but he still felt the warmth on his cheeks, the impression that he was lighter, freer.

“Ah Percy! Look who I found! "

“Theseus, you're annoying!" Newt sighed.

 _Yeah... Freer... Sure..._ With Theseus around, it was hopeless... Credence swallowed the end of his drink in one go before turning to Percival who was advancing towards them. He was a little wobbly, his eyes shining, his lips swollen from having kissed Seraphina too much. This thought broke Credence's heart and he had to force himself not to reveal his sorrow. Just imagining Percival with her twisted his guts. The worst thing was to realize that, in spite of this, Percival remained the most wonderful boy in his eyes, the center of his universe. Especially with his tousled hair, his bright face and his deep, dark eyes. A shiver went up Credence's spine.

The young Graves stood next to Credence, a little too close to his taste because from here he could smell his fragrance and especially his drink, a strong and heady smell.

“Credence. " He said in a deep voice.

A new shiver. They stared at each other for a moment, as if the time around them had frozen. Even the music seemed to have disappeared in the distance. Percival stepped forward, and he was suddenly so close that Credence was almost afraid of him. He bent down to tell the younger one, his lips only a few inches from his ear:

“You are beautiful. "

“The pearl has become a rough diamond, hasn't it? "

“For God's sake Theseus, can't you leave him alone?" Newt raved.

The intervention of the Scamander brothers brought Credence back to reality and he hastened to flee the proximity of Percival to join Tina and Queenie who had just sat a little further away. He must certainly have been as red as a tomato because Queenie pouted softly at his expression. He was about to announce that he was going to leave when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Theseus... Credence tried to free himself, but Theo seemed determined to hold him in place, like a predator playing with his prey.

“Sera just had a great idea, kids! Would you like to play the bottle game? "

 _Oh no..._ thought Credence. Weren't they supposed to become "wiser" when they went to College? Obviously not, judging by the completely drunk guests...

“Oh yes!" Tina exclaimed.

It was official, she had drunk too much. He had to go away, he had to leave this party, this suffocating heat, this smell of alcohol and sweat. He had to protect himself, to escape the unpleasant pressure of Theo's hand on his shoulder, to take off that stupid outfit, to untie his hair, to forget Percival, to forget Seraphina... To forget everything and disappear into nothingness. But the void didn't seem ready to welcome him yet, and in a new moment of weakness he agreed to follow the small group to the terrace. There must have been about ten of them sitting around this bottle. _This is just a game, you gonna be alright…_ he thought.

Anxiety was swirling in Credence's belly, and no matter how hard he tried to take a deep breath, nothing could help. _You don't belong here, you never did... You're nothing... Just a pathetic teenager who everyone pities._

In front of him Seraphina had her arms around Percival's neck, even more drunk than Tina. It was ridiculous, the whole situation was ridiculous. Theseus turned the bottle in the center of the circle. According to the rules of the oldest Scamender, the participants on either side of the bottle had to kiss each other. It was grotesque, childish and awkward... and frightening.

Credence had never been lucky. And as if fate had decided to play a bad trick on him, the bottle stopped on him... and Percival. _Oh Shit..._

The young Graves raised his eyes towards him in a sudden movement, which must have hurt his neck. Seraphina giggled next to him, as if the idea of Percival kissing Credence was the funniest thing ever. Credence felt his cheeks burning and he swallowed with difficulty, unable to take his eyes off the young man in front of him. It was a nightmare...

“Oh my God! This is so perfect! "

Tina's remark increased her friend's anxiety even more. Credence shook his head, as if waking from a bad dream, before saying:

"No... "

"Ah Pearl, you have to! You wanted to play, now you must take responsibility! " Theseus laughed.

Why did he spend his time torturing him like that? What was so funny about making him look ridiculous in front of everyone? Why didn't Percival ever say anything? Why were Queenie and Tina too drunk to come to his rescue? And why on earth had he agreed to play this game?!

"No, I... I can't kiss Percy. "

"Oh, honey, it's just a kiss ! " Queenie insisted.

"No, I can't... "

His breathing suddenly became panting and he lowered his eyes to escape the black iris of Percival, who still hadn't said a word.

"Why? Is it the first time you kiss someone, Pearl? "

Credence wanted to smother Theseus with his remark. Newt struck the back of his brother's head, forcing him to keep quiet.

"Just a little kiss, Credence. I don't care!" Sera added.

As if this whole situation was about her. It had nothing to do with Seraphina, and at the same time, it was hard to forget that she was part of the equation... Credence put his eyes back on the twins' brother's face. Percival took a sip out of his glass, his eyes shining with a strange glow, a glow that made Credence shudder and want to run away even more. 

"Oh come on Cree, besides it's not like you're not in love with him! "

Tina crushed her hand over her mouth, as if this gesture would allow her to take back what she had just said. She suddenly became very pale. Credence's vision became blurred as his eyes filled with tears. She had just thrown him to the wolves... He felt betrayed and humiliated, and it was unbearable. It was even worse when the rest of the guests started laughing and making comments.

"I'm so sorry, I... I'm sorry Credence, I didn't think... " Tina mumbled.

He stared at her for a moment, unable to move, unable to react, unable to look at Percival to see his reaction... His heart crashed into his chest in a smash so violent that he felt as if the rest of the world could hear it. The pain, he knew what it was, but this... This was a thousand times worse than anything he had ever endured.

"Wait, Pearl's in love with Percy? " Theseus laughed. 

"Shut up Theo!" Tina shouted.

Without a glance back, Credence ran away, ignoring Queenie who was trying to hold him back and the atrocious laughter that echoed through Marlabelle's garden. He rushed to his room, locking the door, before falling on his bed and breaking into tears. A few seconds later, he heard light knocks on his door.

"Credence, darling, something went wrong at the party? "

Marlabelle seemed worried. In his haste, he had forgotten that she was still at Cora's for the evening. He cleared his throat to give himself some composure and hide his sobs.

"No, I'm just tired. " He lied

"Are you sure? You didn't look well... " Cora insisted.

Great, so they were both aware of his terrible condition...

"I'm fine Cora, I just want to sleep. "

"Do you need anything? "

"I just want to be alone. "

_Forever..._

"OK, darling. " Mrs. Goldstein said in a tender voice.

And before the two women left him, he heard Cora's voice add:

"You were very handsome tonight. "

And Credence abandoned himself entirely to sorrow, pain, and misery.

* * *

On the first day of school, Credence was careful not to run into Tina and Queenie. He had carefully avoided them since the party and did not feel ready to go back to them yet. Which was quite difficult, knowing that they were in the same class...

Percival had returned to the University a week after the party and had not said a word to Credence about Tina's revelation. In fact, he had done everything he could to prevent him from seeing the younger one and had simply given him a vague wave of his hand before leaving with Theseus.

At the end of the day, Credence asked permission from Madame Ya Zhou to stay in the art class so that he could paint for a while. She gladly agreed and gave him all the equipment he needed, specifying that she would be in the teachers' room if he had any problems. Credence had developed a passion for painting and playing the piano, and he seemed to find in these artistic practices an escape from his sometimes too dark thoughts.

He was in the middle of finishing the drawing of a tree when small knocks were made on the door of the classroom. He felt his body stiffen when he saw Tina's sad face. She entered the room, without making a sound, taking care to close the door behind her gently. The silence was heavy. Then suddenly the young woman burst into tears.

"Credence, I'm so sorry!” she cried. “I should never have drunk alcohol and I hate myself so much for hurting you. I'm so sorry. "

Credence didn't know what to do. Did he have to take her in his arms? He wanted to, he hated seeing Tina cry. Leaving his painting, he approached her in a very unsure way. He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking sadly at his friend.

"It was exactly what I wanted to avoid, and I felt humiliated and betrayed. " He admits

Tina took a step towards him, placing her hands around the young man's wrists. She looked really upset. 

"I know, and it's all my fault. I am so sorry, Credence. What can I do to make you forgive me? I'll do whatever you want! You're my best friend! "

He stared at her for a moment. She had made a mistake; she had hurt him. But everyone had the right to make a mistake, right? And staying angry with her would be a much harder thing to do than to forgive her. He closed his eyes, exhaled heavily, and took her in his arms.

"Ah, I can't stay mad at you! " he sighed

She pouted against his shoulder, surrounding him with her arms.

"You are my best friend, and I hurt you, I beg for your forgiveness. And I officially hate alcohol. "

Credence giggled, and Tina's laughter soon joined his. It was a nervous laugh, but it seemed to do them both a lot of good. At the end of several minutes, they parted, Tina kissed her friend's cheek tenderly and then backed away completely.

"You are on " _probationary period of forgiveness_ ", Miss Goldstein. "

"And what do I have to do to be completely forgiven? "

"You take my side if Theseus ever mentions this event again, you let me choose the movies for the next 5 cinema nights, and you invite me for an ice cream, right now, right away. "

"It's a deal. "

She took him back into her arms and thanked him warmly. Staying angry with Tina would have been definitely too hard...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again if I made mistakes... ^^ And thanks for reading <3


	3. Chapter 3

_ Chapter 2  _

The heat was unbearable, and the light outside was almost blinding. Credence was happy that Cora gave up going to the beach today, otherwise he would literally have died cooked like an egg. With a sigh, he arranged his bun before putting on a tank top, shorts and his Converses, and going out to the Goldsteins' house. Tina had just had another fight with Newt, and it was her duty as her best friend to cheer her up, as Queenie spent all her days with her boyfriend Jacob.

With his hands stuck in his pockets, he trotted closer to the house, when Percival came out at the same time, shouting a cold " _Leave me alone, for fuck's sake!_ " before slamming the door violently and leaving without a glance for Credence.

He hadn't seen him for a year. A year since the famous party... And Credence noticed that despite the time that had passed, his heart was still beating the same when he saw him. He was still as attractive as ever, his hair longer, a beard a few days old, muscles more defined even though he looked thinner than last summer. It was confirmed, he was still in love and Percy was still stupidly handsome...

The young man stood still for a moment, not knowing whether he should try to catch up with Percival or whether it would be better for him to enter the Goldsteins' house. He chose the second option. Running after an enraged Percival didn't really sound like a good idea... Slowly, he pushed the front door open and walked towards the kitchen.

Leaning against the sink, Marlabelle had a hand over her mouth to hide her sobs. Her tears broke Credence's heart.

"Marlabelle, is everything all right? " he asked in a soft voice.

She was startled, before turning back to him, giving him a smile that wasn't convincing.

"Oh, Credence! I didn't hear you coming. Are you all right, darling? "

"Yes, I'm fine... And you? "

He didn't want to insist, but he hated to see her sad. And according to Tina, Marlabelle's crying had been a regular thing this year. She waved her hand, as if she was trying to sweep away a memory before answering :

"Oh... Well... Yes, it's OK, nothing serious, just... Family fights I guess... Stories between Percy and his parents... "

A silence took place in the kitchen. Credence tried to find the best thing to say, but the subject was so complex that he was afraid of making a mistake. After a while, he said:

"They are his parents, but you are his family, Marlabelle. He knows that. And you know that, don’t you ? "

Mrs. Goldstein's face showed the emotion that this statement made her feel. It was apparently what she needed to hear. She showed a frank and happy smile before opening her arms and saying :

"Oh, darling, you are adorable. Come here. "

Credence did so and gave her back her embrace, repeating several times that everything would be all right in the end.

They stayed like that for a while, then Credence stepped back and after making sure that Marlabelle was all right, he went upstairs. He knocked gently on Tina's door. She opened at once, her eyes red, her face slightly puffy from crying. They settled down on the young woman's bed, and she explained the situation to him. It was a story of jealousy. Apparently, Newt was spending more and more time with his ex-girlfriend, Leta.

"Tina, he told you they were friends! And I'm sorry to tell you but it's normal that he spends more time with her, they go to the same high school! "

"Great, Cree, that makes me feel a lot better! "

She seemed really depressed. Credence took her hands in his and waited for the young woman to lay her eyes on him.

"He is in love with you, Tina. " He assured her

She shook her head, as if to deny what he had just said. Her relationship with Newt was still recent, they had only been dating for two months. Finally, she said:

"I know... I know, but I can't stand her hanging around him! "

"For your information, it's mostly about Theseus that she hung around... "

This sentence caught her off guard and she gave her friend a questioning glance.

"What? "

"Didn't you notice? The few times we saw them, and she was there, she spent her time making eyes at Theo. "

Tina seemed to think about this before she let out a crystalline laugh.

"You're saying that to reassure me... " she said.

"No, I promise! "

They talked for a while about everything and nothing, mainly about the classes that were about to resume and the anxiety of entering their last year of high school. A little bit about Queenie’s new boyfriend. Then, after clearing his throat to give himself some composure, Credence ventured to ask :

"What's wrong with your brother? "

Tina sneered with a sad laugh. She let her eyes wander through the garden outside the window, visibly lost in her thought.

"Oh my, what a big question that is! " she answered

"I found Marlabelle crying in the kitchen... " he confessed.

She turned her attention back to him. She didn't seem angry with her brother, just upset that things were so complicated.

"He made Mummy cry. Oh shit... It's worse than I thought... "

"How bad? " he asked.

Tina had a wince, she seemed to be weighing the pros and cons. She wasn't sure what she had the right to entrust to Credence.

"I'm not allowed to talk about it, but to put it simply: Percival's father is an asshole."

Credence nodded, allowing the conversation to return gently to more trivial matters. By mid-afternoon, they left Tina's room and went downstairs to sit by the pool. Marlabelle had decided a few months ago on a whim to have it built, and it was an excellent decision, especially on hot days like this.

Over the years with the Goldsteins, Credence had learned to be more comfortable with his body, even though he was still bothered by the visible scars and felt much too skinny. Tina and Credence bathed for a while, splashing around, playing like children, before Queenie throws herself into the water shouting: _Geronimo!_

They had fun for a while before the signs of fatigue began to show. It must be said that the heat really didn't help. 

"Who wants a glass of water? " Credence suggested.

The two girls raised their hands in a single motion, and Credence guffawed before getting out of the pool and wrapping a towel around his waist. He was careful not to get water all over his path and once in the kitchen, he took out the glasses and the jug of water. In the living room he heard sobs. It was not his habit to listen at doors, but he couldn't help but come closer to discover Percival crying in Marlabelle's arms. And this simple vision brought tears to his eyes.

Percy looked so sad and lost, it was unbearable... 

"I'm sorry..." the young Graves sobbed.

"Oh baby, I know... " Marlabelle reassured him.

"I'm so sorry. I hate him! I'm so angry! I'm so mad at him! "

"I know, sweetheart, I know. "

"I don't want to end up like him! "

"That's not going to happen Percy, okay? Everything's going to be all right, sweetheart."

Credence walked away, suddenly ashamed to have overheard this conversation. Percival was not well, and he allowed himself to spy on him. _You're pitiful... You're disgusting..._ Credence hurried to get the glasses of water and left the kitchen to meet the twins outside. He forced himself to show a smile so as not to let anything appear.

A few hours later, Theseus and Newt arrived. The first one always equal to himself, and the second one, so deeply in love with Tina. Percival joined the group, his face impeccable, as if the tears he had shed were the result of Credence's imagination.

At the end of the day, after playing in the pool for a long time (and putting up with Theo's increasingly annoying reflections), they all settled down on the terrace to share a beer. Marlabelle was never very bossy when it came to alcohol, if there was no overflow. Seraphina arrived a little later, taking care to settle down between Percival and Credence, giving the younger one a strange and not very friendly look.

There was something disturbing in the way she kissed and touched Percival, something almost unhealthy, which made Credence uncomfortable. He was obviously not the only one, as Queenie looked at him before miming to vomit, which made them both laugh.

"Have you watched The Witcher?" Newt suddenly asked.

"Yes, and I loved it! " Credence exclaimed.

He had always been a big fan of fantasy works, and the Netflix adaptation of Andrzej Sapkowski's novels lived up to his expectations.

"One wonders why, Pearl. "

Theseus' mocking voice surprised him more than it hurt him. He didn't quite understand what he had meant by it. The silence that followed the sentence was even stranger, and it was only when Sera let out a nasty sneer that Credence understood what it was all about. And no, he hadn't watched The Witcher for Henry Cavill's body (although that was a significant bonus).

"Maybe because I loved the video games? " he replied, in order to put an end to that embarrassing moment.

"Whatever, faggot... "

Credence froze, a cold sweat on his back. His stomach suddenly compressed, as if he was about to puke. He was used to having Theseus ridicule him, and to tell the truth, his unpleasant remarks seemed to bother only Tina and Queenie. But this was much ruder, much crueler and more harmful.

Everything happened very fast, too fast. Before Tina could even say anything to defend Credence, Percival threw himself at Theseus, tackling him violently to the ground before punching him in the face. Newt tried to intervene, but Percival seemed drowned in an uncontrollable rage.

"Percy! Percy, stop!" Seraphina cried.

She tried to grab his arm, but he pushed her away, and Theseus took the opportunity to punch Percival back. Someone had to intervene, someone had to separate them. Queenie ran inside the house, calling her mother, who was upstairs. As Percival once again pinned Theseus against the concrete, Credence interposed himself, placing is body in front of the oldest Scamander. He put his hands on Percival's shoulders, finally getting his attention.

"Stop, Percival, please, stop... "

Young Graves' breathing was erratic, but seeing Credence seemed to make him come to his senses. He released Theseus, slowly moving aside, gradually regaining his wits.

"Calm down, everything is fine," Credence added in a soothing voice.

In a gesture that seemed almost desperate, Percival framed Credence's face with his hands, detailing him with his dark irises, suddenly on the verge of crying. The breath got stuck in the lungs of the younger one, and he felt his pulse quicken even more when Percival placed his forehead against his own.

Then, abruptly, he walked away from him, before moving to the living room with Seraphina at his heels, visibly furious with her boyfriend.

"Oh Jesus, he hits hard, that bastard!" Theo complained as he straightened up, massaging his jaw.

His cheekbone was already painfully swollen.

"You had it coming, Theseus! " his brother said

"Oh shut up Newt, no need to add to it! "

Tina approached Credence to take him in her arms. He did not really knew why she was hugging him, if it was because she had been afraid of the fight, or if it was because Theseus had hurt him, or if it was to support him after that strange moment with Percival... In any case, it helped him to regain a regular breathing.

"Sorry, Credence. "

Hearing Theseus apologize was almost unreal. Credence stared at him for a moment before standing up and saying :

"I'll get some ice for your cheek. Maybe that will help you shut your mouth next time!"

Theo nodded reluctantly, lowering his eyes. Credence clenched his teeth, holding back a sharp remark. _He's right, and you know it... That's why it hurts you so much..._ He quickly made his way to the kitchen, still tense from the altercation and the course of events.

And despite all his efforts, it was impossible for him not to hear the argument that was taking place in the living room between Percy and Sera, Marlabelle choosing to let them explain themselves before having a discussion with Percival.

"It's always about him, it's always about Credence!" Seraphina shouted.

"You're kidding, right? Do you think it's normal that he insults him like that? "

"It was a joke, Percy! "

"And it wasn't funny! For God's sake, he's always making fun of him, finding nicknames for him! Just because it was meant to be a joke doesn't mean it wasn't an insult! "

"And that justifies you hitting your best friend? Goddamn it, it's always about Credence! "

Seraphina seemed to be out of her mind, more furious than ever.

"What are you saying? " Percival asked, unsure.

"Don't you see, Percy? Don't you see you'd be willing to burn down half the town to protect that kid? Don't you see how possessive you are with him? You talk about him all the fucking time! I know more about him than about anybody else! Last year you practically threw everybody out when he left the party! It was almost the end of the world when we didn't spend Christmas with him! He's fucking everywhere! I'm sick of it! "

"I just want to protect him! He's like my little brother, and he needs someone to protect him. "

This sentence shouldn't have hurt Credence, because it showed that Percival truly cared about him. But it was so painful to realize that he cared for him in this way, and not in the way the younger one would have wanted. In the living room, the young woman had a wicked laugh that made Credence shudder.

"Oh, please ! Your little brother? " she said dryly. "Seriously? "

"What? "

"Nothing, forget it! It's not him who needs you, it's just you who wants him to need you... "

"What's that supposed to mean"

He had heard enough and after getting a tea towel and the ice cubes, he hurried back to the edge of the pool. Marlabelle was sitting next to Theseus, watching his face to make sure there was nothing serious.

"Can I know what started this stupid fight? " she asked suddenly, angry.

And in the same movement, all eyes turned to Credence. At that very moment, he would have given anything to disappear.

* * *

A few days later, Cora invited the Godsteins for dinner. She and Credence had spent the whole day cooking and he was convinced that there was more food than the table could ever hold. But they had had a good time, laughing often, sharing anecdotes. Credence took the time to talk about high school with Cora, but also about the studies he wanted to do. The issue had never really been discussed before, largely because the young man was afraid Cora would kick him out once he came of age. But Mrs. Lovegood wasn't like that at all, and happier than ever, she assured him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do.

Credence let out a few tears when she hugged him. Cora was one of the best things that ever happened to him in his life. And it was so comforting to be able to think of her as family.

Mrs. Goldstein and her children arrived on time, but without Seraphina who was supposed to accompany them. Credence was strangely pleased by her absence and was mortified by the thought. The meal passed off calmly, Percival remained silent, answering Cora's questions only with " _yes_ " or " _no_ ". Queenie and Tina kept the conversation going, often making everyone laugh with their stories.

Credence couldn't help but glance worriedly at Percy in front of him. The older one' s eyes finally met his own. " _Are you all right_?" Credence mouthed, and Percival nodded gently before giving him a reassuring smile. Credence wanted to hug him so badly, but he preferred to concentrate on the piece of cake that Cora had just served him.

Later in the evening, while everyone was having tea in the living room, Cora exclaimed:

"Credence has made wonderful progress at playing the piano! "

The young man felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair.

"Oh, if Percy could play the piano instead of the harmonica, we'd have peace," Tina sighed, obviously joking.

"Don't be mean! " Queenie said. "The harmonica is perfect for campfire parties! "

"It's true!" the other one recognized.

"Seraphina finds it annoying when I play..." Percival sighed.

"Seraphina would find anything annoying if it would give her more of your attention."

Credence didn't notice that he had spoken aloud until Tina had a surprise hiccup. _Shit.._. He swallowed with difficulty, hurrying to drink his glass of water as Percival stared heavily at him. Queenie and Tina had to bite their tongues not to laugh, and Cora rushed to Credence's rescue. But not in the best possible way...

"Credence, would you like to play a piece on the piano? " she said.

"I... I don't know if... " he mumbled.

"Oh please Credence! Please. " Tina insisted.

He took a deep breath before accepting. With his heart beating, he sat down on the stool, opening the instrument before placing his delicate fingers on the black and white keys. He thought for a moment about what he was going to play. Then a thought came to him.

Would he dare to open his heart? Was he taking the risk of revealing himself? To reveal his feelings? In any case, Percival would be leaving for the University next week... So, if he was going to play the piano, why not take advantage of it to transform this moment into a declaration of love ? Perhaps Percy wouldn't even understand that it was meant for him... Perhaps…

New inspiration. And the first notes were played before his voice was added.

_I never thought that I could be so bold_

_To even say these thoughts aloud_

_I see you with your girl, your eyes just shine_

_While she stands tall and walk in proud_

He did his best to forget the world around him, concentrating on the song, on the movements of his hands, on the feelings that swirled in his heart.

_That look you give that girl, I wanna see_

_Looking right at me_

_If I could be that girl instead of me_

_I'd never let you down_

_J'ai attrapé un coup d'soleil_

_Un coup d'amour, un coup d'je t'aime_

_J'sais pas comment, faut qu'j'me rappelle_

_Si c'est un rêve, t'es super bel_

_J'dors plus la nuit, j'fais des voyages_

_Sur des bateaux qui font naufrage_

_Je te vois nu sur du satin_

_Et j'en dors plus, viens m'voir demain_

_Mais tu n'es pas là_

_Et si je rêve, tant pis_

_Quand tu t'en vas_

_J'dors plus la nuit_

_Mais tu n'es pas là_

_Et tu sais, j'ai envie_

_D'aller là-bas, la fenêtre en face_

_Et d'visiter ton paradis_

He almost had trouble singing, his voice fading on some words because of his tight throat. He felt dangerously like crying, wanting to let go of all the emotions he had been trying to suppress for years.

_It always seems like you're going somewhere_

_Better than you've been before_

_I go to sleep, and I dream all night_

_Of you knocking on my door_

_That look you give that girl, I wanna see_

_Looking right at me_

_If I could be that girl instead of me_

_I'd be all I can be, I'd be all I can be_

He played the last notes and his fingers remained frozen for a moment, as if suspended above the piano, before a drop of water fell on his right hand. No, not a drop of water, a tear... Credence was crying.

He raised his tear-fogged gaze towards Percival. Credence must have looked either completely mad, or completely desperate, or both. Either way, he felt pathetic and in so much pain. And among the multitude of alternatives open to him, Percival chose to flee. Without a word or another glance at Credence, he got up, turned his heels and left the house, ignoring Marlabelle who tried to hold him back.

Mrs Goldstein apologized for her and for Percival, before leaving the living room herself to catch up with the young Graves. Painful and nervous sobs shook Credence's ribs and he let his distress run free. Tina and Queenie rushed towards him, taking him in their arms, Queenie kissing his temple, Tina caressing his hair.

Cora came towards him too, her face full of sadness.

"Oh my sweetheart... " she whispered.

"I shouldn't have done that... I shouldn't have done that, now he's going to hate me..."

"If he hates you for that, I'll make him eat his harmonica! " Tina said, angry.

"Oh no, if you do that he's going to fart musical notes! " Queenie replied.

They laughed for a moment, and little by little Credence's tears and cries quieted down. Cora said it was time for a second piece of cake with whipped cream, colored sugars and extra caramel. Then she disappeared into the kitchen.

The twins moved away from their friend, staying close enough so that one had one hand in his hair and the other had her fingers on his shoulder. Queenie leaned over to put a kiss on his cheek and said:

"That's one of the most romantic and brave things I've ever seen, honey. "

"Thank you... " he murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it ^^  
> Here is the song played by Credence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsMFmonKDD4


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 3_

This Christmas, Cora decided it was best to stay home and spend the holidays with the Goldsteins. This had happened many times before, but this year was a very special one, as Cora Lovegood had just officially adopted Credence, after seven years as his foster family. Credence was Credence Lovegood for the rest of his life, and nothing could have made him happier.

He had burst into tears when Cora told him that she had been working on the adoption process for some time. And tears of joy were also shed when this application was accepted. At 17 years old, he had a loving mother, someone who would always be there for him, who loved him as he was, unconditionally. He had a family.

Christmas went beautifully, even though Percy decided to spend Christmas Eve with friends from university, promising to come back for the New Year. Credence had the impression that since the piano incident, Percival was doing his utmost to avoid him. They hadn't really spoken to each other since... Partly because Credence was terrified, but mostly because Percival had decided that student parties were much more exciting than going home for the weekends or holidays...

Marlabelle and Cora had prepared a real feast and the gifts were all perfect. Credence was very happy to receive some drawing materials, as he was planning to enter an art school after high school.

Queenie, Tina and him spent most of the evening dancing in the middle of the living room, singing top-notch songs from the 80s and 90s. They also ate too much, and at the hours when dawn was beginning to appear, the three of them were lying on the floor in an improvised hut with the pillows and a few blankets.

"I want it to be like that for the rest of my life... " Tina said.

"Me too! " Credence replied.

"Stop, you're going to make me cry! " Queenie complained.

Laughter ricocheted around the room. They chatted for a moment, filled with joy and comfort beyond compare. Everything was perfect. Then Tina asked:

"What do we do on New Year's Eve? "

"Didn't you want to go to Newt's party? " Queenie wondered. "I told Jacob that I was spending the New Year Eve at the Scamander's and Newt invited him. "

Tina made a grimace before she sighed. She didn't seem at all excited about the idea, and Credence understood her. Since the fight last summer and Percival's hasty departure after the piano declaration, the young man had been doing his best not to run into Theseus.

"I don't know... I don't think I want to see Theseus..." Tina confessed. "I still don't understand why Percival is still friends with him! "

Queenie raised her eyes to heaven, standing up on her elbows so that she could look comfortably at her sister and Credence.

"You know very well why. " she said.

"No, really! I find him unbearable; he spends all his time making fun of everyone, he never takes anything seriously and for him all his foolishness is forgivable! The proof is that he's dating Leta! "

It's true that the announcement of the Theo-Leta couple had made a lot of noise. And this even if Newt didn't seem to give a damn. Queenie bit her lower lip, thinking about what she was going to say before speaking:

"Percival is friends with Theseus, because Theo doesn't judge him. He never has and he never will. Yes, he makes fun, but it's more to hide the fact that he cares about someone than to be mean! And when he goes too far it is often to provoke Percy, because he prefers to get blows rather than see his best friend destroy himself. "

The other two stared at her with round eyes, their mouths half-open. Credence suddenly straightened up before exclaiming:

"Wait... what? Are you saying that Theo is making fun of me because he cares about me and that this summer's incident was for Percy to vent his frustration? "

Explaining this out loud made it even more ridiculous. It didn't make any sense! Tina sat down too, an outraged expression on her face.

"Queenie! Are you chatting with Theseus behind our backs? " she said.

"Not behind your back! But yes, we often chat... "

"Since when? " Credence insisted.

"Since last year, I would say. And yes Credence, Theseus cares about you. "

This information left behind a heavy silence. Credence was unable to assimilate this revelation. It was nonsense! Theseus didn't care about him, he was just an easy prey with whom the older one was playing.

"I want to see the messages! " he suddenly said.

"There's no way! "

"But what exactly did he say? "

Queenie sighed, looking alternately at Credence and her sister before deciding to answer the question:

"He thinks you're a good person, a real person, someone much too kind and generous for his own good. He thinks you are strong, persevering and very intelligent. To sum it all up... "

It was madness! It was completely grotesque! No matter how hard Credence searched, he couldn't find a single moment in his memories when Newt's brother had shown signs of affection for Credence. He was always so annoying! Credence cowered, bringing his legs up against his chest, resting his chin on his lap.

"But... But why did he insult me to provoke Percy? " he asked.

The Goldstein sisters sighed loudly, as if his question was ridiculous. And finally Queenie said :

"Because he knew it would work. Since we were children, Percival has always stood up for you, and he can't stand it when someone is mean to you, it's visceral and sometimes almost pathological. Percival was a time bomb last summer, and Theo thought it would be better to provoke him to explode before going back to University."

"That's a stupid logic!" Tina cried.

"Hey, I didn't say he was the smartest guy in the world! Just that he was nicer than we thought. "

"Why doesn't he tell Credence directly what he thinks of him? "

Queenie had a little laugh.

"So that Percival would give him a jealous outburst, no thank you. "

"As if he would have a jealous fit... And anyway it's not as if I'm interested in Theo. No fucking chance. " the young man said.

The twins turned towards each other and, after a second, a huge smile lit up their faces. It didn't augur anything good... They looked at Credence for a moment, and the young man felt as if he could hear their imaginations going wild.

"I don't like that look at all... " he said.

Suddenly the realization hit him. They were going to drag him into a risky plan. One of making Percival Graves jealous. And obviously the best candidate for this operation was Theseus.

"Oh no! Oh, no, no, no, no! I'm not going to pretend to have a soft spot for Theo to make Percy jealous! It's out of the question! Not a chance! No! Hell, no! "

They each took one of the young man's hands as Credence shook his head, determined not to give in to the idea. It was too dangerous.

"But we're not asking you to go out with him or kiss him, you could just dance with him at the New Year's Eve party! " Tina suggested.

"No! No, it's out of the question, God damn it! No, no ! Are you out of your fucking mind ? I thought Theseus wanted to avoid Percy being jealous of him? "

"It's not the same thing if it's you who initiates contact with him ! " Queenie said.

Were they really evaluating this possibility? No, it was simply impossible. Credence hadn't seen Percival for four months, it wasn't to spoil the only evening he was going to be able to spend with him. He was already having trouble telling himself that Percy wouldn't have forgotten the piano event, so there was no way he would play the manipulative teenager just to get his attention. Besides his separation from Sera was still painful, it would only hurt him...

"No! I categorically refuse to do that! This is ridiculous! "

"Why is this ridiculous? Besides, Percival is single now! You must make a move to get his attention! " Tina said.

"Because I hate being manipulated, I'm not going to do that to your brother. Not in a million years. "

"What if we ask Theo to help you?" Queenie proposed, rushing to her phone.

"It's incredible, when you have an idea, you don't let go! "

And before he could stop her, Queenie sent a message to Theseus. The reply was not long in coming. A simple "OK, I’m in" was displayed on the screen. The Goldstein sisters began to anticipate events, to imagine Percy's reaction, to think about how Credence would have to dress for the occasion. Without a word, he got up and slipped into the bathroom. After locking the door, he let himself slide along the door to sit on the tile floor. Without thinking, he took out his phone and typed a message.

" _Merry Christmas Percy, I hope you had a good evening._ "

Then he closed his eyes, tilting his head back to rest it against the door. It was probably stupid to send a message now, especially after all this time and only to say something so banal. But his phone vibrated in his hand, and Credence almost hurt his neck when he suddenly straightened up.

" _Merry Christmas Credence Lovegood, I missed you_."

A radiant smile lit up his face, and forgetting for a while the plans of his friends, Credence returned to the living room where Tina and Queenie were already asleep.

* * *

On New Year's Eve, the twins were in a state of near hysteria. Credence joined them around mid-afternoon, and they spent several hours together getting ready for the evening.

Queenie wore a beautiful red dress with heels, and only her lips were made up. Tina had chosen a black dress, and for once wore a marked make-up around her eyes. She had also raised her hair into an elaborate hairstyle that made her look older. They were gorgeous. Credence wore for the occasion a white linen shirt and one of the high-waisted black trousers that Queenie had given him. His long brown curls were loose and they framed his face beautifully.

Then finally, at the end of the day, the small group went to the Scamander's house. The sun had not yet set and the music was already playing loudly in the large building. Newt and Theseus' family home was disproportionately huge, and as one might have expected, Theo had invited half of the University.

Queenie quickly found Jacob, and Newt ran towards Tina when he saw her, as if he hadn't seen her for months. Credence found the two young couples adorable and so touching. He was almost jealous of them. Credence moved away from this tender reunion and walked towards the small blue parlor next to the hall.

His breath stopped in his chest when he saw Percival. He was leaning against the wall in front of him, a glass of alcohol in his hand, wearing a shirt open to the middle of his chest, black jeans and his worn-out Dr Martens. He was still as sexy as ever, and Credence must not have been the only one who thought so, because Percival was surrounded by three young women who giggled at the slightest of his jokes. One of them laughed before saying " _Oh baby, you're so funny_ " in a mellow voice.

Credence felt even sadder than last summer when Percy had left the living room after his piano piece. He was more in pain than jealous. Because this situation showed how little he meant to Percival. At least, not as he would have liked... It showed him how much he could never have Percival for himself. _You are nothing... You are nobody... Just another charity case. Why would he want you when he can have all the women in the world? Who would want you, Credence? Who would want " that "?_

_I missed you, my ass! Damn liar!_

A bitter taste burnt his tongue, and he felt his guts twisting, clenching his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Ah, Pearl! You've really outdone yourself this time! "

Theseus' voice took him out of his thoughts and he turned to the young man standing beside him with that usual mocking smile on his face. He heard Percival clearing his throat before moving towards them. It was only when Credence heard the giggling and whispering that he realized that there was a bunch of mistletoe just above his head.

Percival was right there, just a step away from him, and he could have been behaving like a shy teenager and put a kiss on his cheek. But no, Credence was angry, and for once he wanted to be selfish. So he turned entirely towards Theseus before tiptoeing to put his lips on the cheek of the older one. Dangerously close to his mouth.

Full of the adrenaline of having dared to do such a thing, Credence stepped aside before saying with a seductive smile:

"I'm happy to see you Theo. I’ve missed you. " 

Theseus stared at him, redder than he had ever been, before looking at Percival. Credence did not find the strength to face the dark eyes of the young Graves and to finish his act, he quickly squeezed Theo's fingers between his own before leaving the room. Then he hurried off to find his friends, conscious of Percival's gaze, which was burning his back. When he found them, he must have been as pale as a sheet, because Queenie showed a worried look on her face.

"Cree, are you all right? " she asked. 

He grabbed the glass Tina was holding and emptied it in one go. Aware of Credence's condition, Jacob handed him his glass and gave him a compassionate look. He thanked him, drinking it as quickly as he drank Tina's glass. The alcohol rose immediately, and Credence thought that it would have been better to drink before kissing Theo under the mistletoe. He took a quick glance around him and realized that the large room was already full of guests. Perfect! Maybe with a bit of luck he would manage to disappear into the crowd.

"What happened, honey? " Queenie asked.

"I kissed Theseus on the cheek in front of Percy. " he confessed.

"What?" Tina cried.

He told them the whole story, and the surprise soon gave way to nervous laughter.

"My God Credence, I thought you didn't want to make him jealous! " Tina said.

"Oops, I guess. "

They burst out laughing again. It was much better to laugh at the situation than to mourn over the repercussions it would have. Queenie took him to the bar for a drink while the others joined the dance floor. He drank his beverage quickly, too quickly, and didn't put up any resistance when the young woman dragged him into the middle of the dancers.

Credence's mind was foggy, and he let himself go to the rhythm, moving his body more freely, more lightly. He no longer had a sense of time, and nothing mattered anymore. Fuck high school, fuck the future, fuck love, fuck his broken heart, fuck Percival Graves...

He danced for a moment before his head started to spin. After telling Queenie that he was going to get some air, he staggered towards one of the adjacent rooms to try to be in a place a little calmer. He fell heavily on a chair before being joined by Theseus. _Great.._. Credence's anxiety returned, and it wasn't the alcohol that would help him.

Maybe he could have run away? But he was unable to move.

Newt's brother didn't give him a look, just drinking his beer. Then, after several minutes, he cleared his throat and said :

"So... Credence... I'm not going to dramatize anything, because Queenie warned me that you wanted to make Percy jealous, but don't you ever do that again, ok? "

Credence lowered his eyes to his hands, twisting his fingers in a nervous tic before answering:

"I'm sorry... Queenie said it was ok with you, so I... "

"I said I was OK with a dance, not for you to practically kiss me on the mouth. "

Credence rose abruptly to look Theseus in the eye, and what he saw only made him panic even more. The eldest Scamander had a strange glow in his eyes, something like disappointment. Sadness?

"I'm sorry, Theo... "

Theseus stared at him for a moment, as if trying to read his thoughts. His eyes were dark, and Credence didn't know where to put himself. Finally, the older one said:

"I'm going to tell you something. Let's talk about it tonight and then we'll never speak of it again, okay? And you won't talk about it to anyone, okay? "

Credence was caught unawares, but he forced himself to answer:

"Uh... okay. "

Theseus nodded. He emptied his beer in one sip. Then he looked away, suddenly nervous and unable to support Credence's irises.

"The thing is, Credence... I have a crush on you. I've been attracted to you ever since I saw you dressed in that blue suit for your fourteenth birthday. "

Credence's heart missed a beat. He held his breath, waiting for Theo to burst out laughing, to tell him it was a joke. But no, Theseus didn't do any of that, and the silence was even harder to absorb the information.

"But you... Theseus, you never said anything! " he said at last. " You spend all your time mocking me, putting me down! "

A sad laughter passed from the other's lips.

"A kind of self-protection I suppose... It was much easier to hurt you than to admit that you had touched a sensitive chord... I mean, it's obvious that it was all about Percy from the beginning, wasn't it? "

His shining eyes met Credence's face again. The younger one couldn't believe it. If he had been told that morning that Theo had feelings for him, he would certainly have burst out laughing. But at that moment, the revelation suddenly made him sad, lost and confused.

"But I... I thought you found me ridiculous, that you... " Credence babbled. "You called me a fag and you... "

"Yes, I know... I'm not telling you this to make you reflect, it's not the point at all. And I don't want you to feel guilty about the almost kiss. I don't blame you at all, and I'm not hurt, not really at least. "

It was getting worse and worse, and that statement sounded so fatalistic and tragic that Credence would have given anything to find the mocking Theseus he was used to seeing. The older one had a smile so sad and resigned that Credence's heart tightened in his chest. Theo continued:

"The thing is... You'd have to be blind not to notice that you're in love with Percival, and that it's been mutual, for years. And I quickly understood that I had no place in all this and... How could I say that... You will soon realize that in the world there are a thousand Theseus, but that there is only one Percival and one Credence. "

"Theo I... Does Queenie know about this? "

The idea that the young woman encouraged him to use Theseus while knowing his feelings made him nauseous. He would never have done such a thing if he had known... But how could he have known?

"No, nobody knows, not even Newt, and especially not Percival. And it's not as if it matters, since I always intended to erase myself. "

Credence didn't know what to say anymore, words seemed to die at the edge of his lips. And Theo spoke again, his gaze again lost in the void:

"I don't want him to lose you, because that would destroy him. And I can't lose him either, otherwise I'd really be screwed, you understand? So I just removed myself from the equation. And it's not like I'm unhappy, I'm with Leta, and she's great, honestly. "

It didn't sound right... it sounded awfully painful. And maybe it was because of the alcohol or because of the tiredness, but the tears appeared in Credence's eyes. A slight sob passed his lips and Theo turned towards him, his eyes shining, on the verge of crying too. But he forced himself to show a big smile before ruffling the youngest's hair.

He stood up and before leaving Credence, he added :

"Don't cry Credence, don't cry for me, I'm not worth it and I'm really not " _heartbroken_ "! I just needed you to know, so that things could be... sorted out somehow. Enjoy the party, Credence. "

"No Pearl tonight? " the younger one smiled.

Theseus's laughter seemed to ripple off the walls, and while Credence usually hated it, tonight that sound warmed his heart. Theo would remain Theo, and for him, at this moment, that was the most important thing.

"No ... No, not tonight ... " he replied.

Then he turned his heels ready to leave, but Credence thought it important to add:

"And Theseus, you're wrong! There is only one Theo! "

Theo turned towards him again, his face having fully recovered his happy and cheerful expression.

"Happy New Year, Credence! " he said. "And he's in the garden, if you are looking for him. "

Then he disappeared into the crowd. Credence remained alone for a while, just long enough to put his thoughts in order.

The fresh air outside did him the greatest good and he walked for a moment, moving away from the people and the noise, towards the large sycamore tree, convinced that Percival was there. And he was not mistaken. Leaning against the tree, Percival was drinking, obviously already drunk. At least he was alone...

"Need some quiet, eh?" the young Graves asked, as if he had been waiting for Credence for a while.

He turned to the younger one, with a feverish look. It was quite sad to say, but he looked pathetic.

"It's a bit... a bit too much for me, I'm not really a party boy. " Credence replied.

"No shit!" Percival mocked.

Credence felt wounded. Percy had never laughed at him, never with such coldness and disdain. It was a horrible feeling and it made him feel worthless. Credence turned away from the young Graves, determined to go back inside to flee from the older one. But Percival caught up with him and grabbed his arm to hold him back, forcing him in a clumsy gesture to turn back towards him.

"Why are you leaving? I didn't mean that in a bad way, it's just that... Well, you know how you are... "

Credence clenched his jaw, feeling the anger rising as Percival still displayed that unbearable condescending smile.

"No, enlighten me, you seem to have things to say! "

"You're always looking lost, your head in the clouds, half the time it seems like you're terrified of the slightest noise. That's why Theo calls you Pearl. "

"Why does he call me Pearl? "

"Because you look like something fragile and ridiculously pure. A fucking pearl... "

"Fuck you!" Credence raved.

He tried to leave again, but Percival blocked his way.

"Why are you getting upset Cree? I didn't say anything mean. "

"Leave me alone Percy! "

"What, would you have preferred that I made a declaration of love to you in the moonlight? Or kiss you under the mistletoe? Or maybe a song on the piano would have been better, right? Didn't your little teenage heart move on? You're just a confused kid, you don't even know what it's like to be in love with someone! "

He was mean, his tone was sharp and Credence hated it. It wasn't Percy, it wasn't his Percy. Yes Credence had wanted to make him jealous, yes he had wanted to provoke him, but that didn't give him the right to talk to him like that and make fun of his feelings.

Clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white, Credence assaulted :

"Oh because you know? That's not so much what Sera would say! "

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about! "

"No, it's you who don't know anything! You think that because you are 6 years older than me, that makes you an adult and someone experienced and "wise". You're just as clueless as me, Percy! And the fact that I'm in love with you doesn't give you the right to treat me like shit! "

"For fuck’s sake, you're not in love with me! " he shouted.

"I am, whether you like it or not! I've been in love with you since that stupid beach trip years ago! I didn't choose it, OK? It just happened... and it's been killing me... "

Percival came dangerously close to him, his breath caressing the face of the youngest. Credence had never seen him like this, and it frightened him.

"You're not in love with me, you're just fixated on me because I'm one of the few people who give you importance! Yesterday it was me, tonight it's Theo, and tomorrow you'll fuck the first idiot who tells you you're a fucking artist! "

Credence's heart broke in a thunderous din that ricocheted off his temples. His vision fogged up, and he did his best to keep his composure and to swallow the painful ball at the back of his throat. A shiver went up his spine, and this simple movement seemed to bring Percival back to reality.

The older one suddenly turned pale, taking a step backwards, becoming aware of what he had just said. He opened and closed his mouth several times before saying:

"I'm sorry, it was cruel and inappropriate, forgive me. I don't know what came over me...I… I just…You deserve better than that, you deserve better than me Credence..."

A sad laugh passed Credence's lips as he hastened to wipe away the tear that had just rolled down his cheek.

"Why, because I am fragile and pure? Or because I'm a slut? It's all bullshit! "

Percival closed his eyes, more and more conscious of having harmed Credence. Then he approached him again, looking lost, shaking his head in a gesture that made him look like a madman. He seemed to be on the verge of weeping.

"No, because I'm rotten inside! " he confessed. "I always screw up everything, I always end up hurting the people I care about! Look, you are already crying! If we tried something, you'd end up hating me, despising me, and it would kill me because... it would destroy me because... "

He was unable to finish his sentence, unable to tell Credence how he really felt.

"Because what? " Credence insisted.

Percy put his forehead against his own, closing his eyes, letting tears roll down his cheeks. Credence needed to hear it, needed to be certain, needed to understand, needed to know the truth. But just as Percival was about to answer him, Tina's voice resounded not far from them:

"Credence, Percy, the countdown is about to begin! "

Percival suddenly withdrew from the younger one, as if his contact had burnt him. It was too hard for Credence, and it was even harder when Percy said:

"Forget it, forget me, _move on_ , Credence. "

It was too much. Too much for one night, too much for a lifetime, too much for a heart, too much for this New Year's Eve party. Credence approached Percy, giving him a look darker and more wounded than ever.

"You're just a coward, Percival Graves. " he said dryly.

Then he ran off to meet Tina who didn't dare to ask him what had happened. His best friend's tears were enough to show her that the evening hadn't gone as planned. Credence and Tina joined Newt, Jacob and Queenie for the countdown. Credence was not convinced that this new year would be a good one, but at least the last one was coming to an end. Maybe it was time to turn the page... Maybe it was time to move on...

Not surprisingly, Credence did not see Percival again for the rest of the holidays. However, a few days after classes resumed, Credence received an envelope containing a photograph of him and Percival.

Credence couldn't have been more than 15 years old in this photo, he was smiling at the lens, happy. At his side, Percival had an arm around his shoulders and stared at the younger boy with a gentle look, his face illuminated with a sincere and moving smile.

Behind the photograph, there were just two handwritten sentences:

" _I am a coward, and I am sorry. Happy New Year Credence_ ".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me ^^  
> Hope you liked this chapter ^^


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 4_

__

After finishing high school, Tina, Queenie and Credence decided to go on holiday to France. They spent the summer enjoying the landscapes of Normandy, Provence and the South before spending three weeks in Paris. Cora and Marlabelle had paid for almost the entire trip, and Credence felt incredibly indebted. The three friends had the time of their lives before returning to California in time for Percival's birthday. If Credence had known how the birthday party was going to go, he probably would never have come home...

Shaking his head to escape his memories, Credence turned the key in the lock of the front door. Newt had kindly picked him up at the airport before dropping him off at home, at the same time as he took the opportunity to go to Tina. On the way, they had talked about studies, New York, childhood memories, Theo and Leta. In short, they had talked about everything except Percival, and that had suited Credence perfectly. 

The cold air at the beginning of winter was biting his skin and he was not dressed warmly enough for December. Weeks at the University had gone by at breakneck speed. And then the weeks became months, and Credence had finally got used to his student life.

Being without the twins had been incredibly hard at first, but he had soon met Nagini, another art student who seemed to have had her share of misadventures too. The two young people quickly became inseparable and after a month of not being able to sleep in the university dormitories, they decided to move into one of Nagini's parents' flats together. The rent was very low, as Nagini's father categorically refused to charge Credence, too happy that his daughter had found a friend she could count on.

Cora often came to visit him, always having a pretext to come and see him. Beyond her need to make sure that Credence was well, the young man knew that she deeply missed him and that the house wasn't the same without him. Cora had offered him an electric piano so that he could continue to play, repeating several times that he would play pieces for her when he came home for Christmas.

Between classes, the work at the university café that Credence had taken, and parties with Nagini, he hadn't seen the time go by. Especially since he and his boyfriend had broken up. New head movement. There was no way he would think of Abernathy now...

Credence entered the house, shouting a cheerful " _I'm home_ " before closing the door behind him. Cora came at once, almost running, and took him in her arms, holding him tightly.

"Oh my darling, I'm so happy to see you! I missed you so much! " she exclaimed.

"You came to New York just a couple of weeks ago. " he smiled. 

She gave him a loud kiss on the cheek before returning to the kitchen. Credence followed her after dropping his bag at the bottom of the stairs. Cora was making gingerbread, and the smell of cinnamon was almost intoxicating. Credence leaned against the door frame, looking at her mother's activity with a tender smile. She finally looked up at him and said:

"Are you all right, my darling? "

"I'm fine... I'm better. "

She had a strange expression, as if she wasn't really convinced by this answer. She bit her lip, frowning slightly before she ventured to propose:

"If you want to press charges against... "

"Mummy, please! " he interrupted her, more sharply than he would have liked. "I really don't want to talk about Abernathy again. "

"Of course darling, I'm sorry. "

Calling Cora Mummy had been much easier than Credence had expected. Probably because it made much more sense to call her his mother than it did to call Mary-Lou "Ma"... As the years went by, Credence thought less and less about his biological mother, but sometimes he still woke up with screaming. It would take him a long time to remember that he was no longer in that horrible half basement, that his physical wounds had been closed for a long time, that Ma would never be able to reach him again.

The first time it had happened in his new flat share, Nagini had come running into his room, brandishing a rolling pin, ready to have a fight with anyone. Then she had taken Credence in her arms, rocking him tenderly before preparing him a honey milk and offering to sleep with him. He had accepted, his body shaken with nervous sobs. They had spent the rest of the night in a comforting embrace, Nagini whispering to him that she understood, that everything would work out in the end, that Credence was free now, and much stronger than all those who had done him harm.

Nagini understood, she really understood him...

"How is Nagini? " Cora asked, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Well, she's very well. She has a new tattoo. "

"The butterfly eagle she wanted ? "

"Yes. It's beautiful. "

"I don't doubt it, especially if she's the one who drew it. "

Credence nodded. Then, after a brief sigh, he walked towards Cora, a sad look on his face, silently asking for a hug. Cora let out a crystalline laugh before taking him in her arms, delicately caressing his hair. They stayed like this for a long time before Mrs Lovegood suggested that Credence sit down to taste the gingerbread.

He did so, happy to rediscover this special taste, this taste of home, this taste of holidays, this taste of Christmas. Then he noticed the enormous turkey in the oven and frowned.

"Do we have guests this evening? " he asked.

"We're invited to eat at Marlabelle's house. She had too much work to prepare a turkey so I took care of it. "

Credence nodded before taking a piece of gingerbread. But a thought crossed his mind, and he felt his stomach contracting. After clearing his throat to give himself some composure, he said:

"I thought Marlabelle was not a great fan of turkey... "

"She is not, but Percival always loved it, so... "

Credence almost choked with his bite. Percival was at Marlabelle's, he had returned for the holidays, and he was going to see him this evening. That's great... It could hardly have been better...

"Percival is at Marlabelle's? " he asked.

Cora pretended not to notice his dismay. Probably so as not to turn the knife in the wound... But it gave Credence the vague impression that she and Marlabelle had planned the whole thing. That the two women wanted their sons to get along as before. Cora drank a sip of tea before answering:

"He arrived last night, it wasn't planned. He's not doing very well... "

 _As usual_ , thought Credence, more bitterly at this thought than in previous years. His recent encounters with Percival had not really ended well. Not to say that they had been real disasters, especially the last one. Credence suddenly felt like crying at the simple remembrance of this summer's party. It had been even worse than the New Year's party, worse in so many ways that it made him nauseous. Percy had hurt him like never before, and Credence didn't feel ready to forgive him yet.

"I'm not sure I want to see him," he said.

Cora looked confused, as if she didn't expect her son to tell her this. Credence cowered, his eyes focused on the table, and Cora brought her cup to her lips once more time before saying :

"I thought things had worked out between you, as you told me you had a present for him. "

"Yes, I have a present for him just as I have one for you, for Marlabelle, for Tina, Queenie, Newt and Jacob. I even have one for Theo. "

It was his way of convincing himself that Percy was not more important than the others to him, not anymore. But deep in his heart, Credence knew full well that this was false and that, whatever he did, Percival would remain the center of his Universe. He felt weak for not being able to forget him, for not being able to turn the page. Not being able to " _move on_ "...

Cora put her hand over the young man's, in a tender and reassuring gesture. Looking at her, Credence could see how sorry and sad she seemed. 

"I'm sorry, darling, I really thought things had worked out between you. But it would be a shame if you didn't come, the girls will be there and Newt and Jacob too. "

It was probably the best way to see Percy again. At least he wouldn't be alone with him, he would have the support of his friends. Credence would still have preferred Theseus to be there. Since the New Year's Eve party, things had become much easier with Theo. They were now good friends, and Credence would often call Theo when his feelings for Percival became too heavy to bear or when he just wanted to talk to someone who was still awake in the middle of the night.

Cora put a gentle pressure on his fingers, and after a sigh of resignation, Credence said :

"Anyway, if we do Christmas with them, I'm going to have to see him at some point..."

His mother got up to put a kiss on the top of his head before returning to tend the turkey. A new sigh passed through Credence's lips. These holidays were going to be complicated...

* * *

After a nap and a good shower, Credence felt much more relaxed and much more ready to face Percival. He spent some time getting ready, while repeating to himself several times that it was useless and that he had no one to impress.

With their arms loaded with food, he and Cora headed for the Goldsteins' house. On the threshold of the entrance, Credence thought to himself that he badly needed a cigarette. But he took it upon himself, breathing deeply, trying to give himself some self-control as Marlabelle opened the door.

She greeted them joyfully, hugging Credence in her arms after asking Queenie to take the dish he was holding. She stroked his hair as she had done for years, visibly moved to see him again. Then she walked away to go into the kitchen with Cora. Tina ran down the stairs before throwing herself at Credence, making him wobble. He stabilized before closing his arms around her.

"I missed you so much! " she said, tightening her grip around his shoulders.

"I missed you too Tina. " He smiled.

"I want a hug too! " Queenie cried, embracing Credence from behind.

They stayed like that for a while, under the amused gaze of Newt and Jacob who waited wisely to welcome Credence. He had missed the twins terribly, and the numerous video calls hadn't really helped to make up for the two young women's absence.

"Why did you go to New York to study?" Tina complained.

"Because that's where he always wanted to go. "

Percival's deep voice forced Credence to look up at him. And he cursed his heart, which immediately missed a beat. He was much thinner than this summer, his longer hair framed his face with a drawn jaw. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for several days. His complexion was pale, almost sickly, and his beard of a few days only reinforced how emaciated his cheeks seemed. Cora hadn't lied when she said he wasn't well...

And Credence hated this irrepressible desire to forgive him for everything, to pretend that nothing had happened. He hated this almost vital need to take Percival in his arms. And he hated even more the little inner voice telling him that Percival needed him, that despite his condition, Percival was still beautiful, and that Credence was still desperately in love with him.

Tina and Queenie stepped aside from their friend, standing beside him as if they were ready to fight tooth and nail for him. Percival walked towards Credence, giving him a smile that was meant to be sincere but looked incredibly unhappy. 

"Credence" he whispered

"Percival. " He replied in the same tone.

Marlabelle called Queenie and Tina, and the two young women joined her in the kitchen, not without asking with a glance if all was alright for Credence. He nodded and they disappeared into the room a little further away.

Newt and Jacob welcomed him warmly before leaving him alone in the hall with Percival. Credence felt his stomach squeeze and his hands trembled slightly, so he pushed them into his pockets. Percy was one step away from him, watching him, with his sad smile still on his lips.

Credence didn't know where to put himself or what to say. He was surprised when he felt Percival put one of his locks back behind his ear. The contact made him shudder and he moved back more abruptly than he would have liked. Percy let his hand drop down along his body, his eyes shining. Then, regaining his usual self-confidence, he said in a joyful tone:

"You look well. "

"Thank you, so do you. " Credence lied.

Percival laughed, with a white laugh that sounded falser than anything else.

"Yeah... I'm not so sure about that. " He confessed.

 _No... You don't look well... You look like shit_... thought Credence. But he bit his tongue so as not to say it out loud. He lowered his eyes to his shoes, getting lost in the contemplation of the carpet. 

"I missed you... " Percival said.

Credence closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. He really didn't want to hear that, he was still too fragile, he was still too close to give up everything for Percival, to throw away his good resolutions, to give up his self-respect to declare his love again.

Credence cleared his throat, taking it upon himself to display an expressionless face before raising his head to Percival to say :

"You don't have to tell me that, you know? We can stop pretending I'm important to you, if it makes it easier. "

Percival seemed to take the hit, as if Credence had just punched him. His eyes glowed again, and Credence was suddenly afraid that he would cry. But Percival clenched his jaw, nodding resignedly before asking:

"Are you still mad at me? "

Yes, Credence was still wounded, hurt, heart on the edge of his lips, mind on the edge of sorrow. Yes, he was angry. He was even furious. And the worst of it all was that Percival didn't even know why the younger one was still mad at him.

"Forget about it Percival! I don't want to talk about it. "

And without waiting for an answer from him, Credence joined the others in the kitchen. Tina greeted him with a large glass of wine, and he accepted it immediately. Percival only took a few seconds to appear too, and he quickly emptied his glass of wine before pouring a second one under Queenie's worried gaze. After a while everyone settled down around the large dining room table. Marlabelle took care of sharing the turkey, remembering exactly what was everyone's favorite part. Percival was already on his fourth glass when they began to eat, and Credence sadly noticed that Marlabelle put her finger on her son's hand when he was about to pour himself a new glass.

No one made the slightest remark about it. And the meal went relatively well, animated by Queenie's stories, Newt's adventures, Jacob's recipes and Tina's jokes. Percival spoke briefly about his work, but he remained silent for most of the dinner. Credence simply made a few observations here and there, unable to think of anything but the young Graves beside him.

Towards the end of dinner, when it was time to share a cup of tea or coffee, Cora and Marlabelle decided to stay alone in the kitchen, inviting the younger ones to go into the living room. They often did this, it was a private moment between the two friends where they could talk about anything and everything, without having to think about their children's ears, even though they were all grown up now.

Tina and Newt settled down on the sofa, Queenie and Jacob preferred to sit on the floor with cushions. Percy fell into one of the two large armchairs, and Credence sat in the second. At times Credence felt Percy's eyes on him, but he didn't dare look at him, preferring to concentrate on what his friends were saying. The task was not easy with the older one so close to him...

"I remember that time Tina asked me why adults prefer to kiss on the mouth. " Queenie giggled.

"Oh, Queenie... Please!" the other girl sighed.

"When I told her it was to show affection, she got it into her head that she absolutely had to kiss Credence. "

"Thank you, so I'm ashamed now, great... "

Queenie's laughter passed her lips as she thought back to that memory. A smile lit up Credence's face. He remembered that sunny afternoon very well. It hadn't even been fifteen days since he had arrived at Cora's house, and he had been attacked by a Tina determined to kiss him. 

"I've never seen Credence run so fast in his life!" Queenie laughed. "The poor boy was being chased by a Tina who ran after him as if her life depended on it. "

"And so the story ends!" Tina intervened, redder than ever. "I didn't kiss Credence that day, or any other day for that matter. "

"Yeah, unlike Percy! "

All eyes turned to Queenie as she crushed her hand over her mouth, blushing violently. She looked up at Credence, whose smile immediately faded.

"Oh, shit... " she gasped.

The heavy silence didn't help the situation, and Credence felt his guts turn inside out. The Goldstein sisters definitely knew how to embarrass him. Percival sat up in his armchair, narrowing his eyes, before he ventured to say:

"What?"

Queenie looked increasingly panicked. She took a sip of her tea, then smiled unconvincingly and replied:

"Nothing, it's nothing, I didn't think about what I was saying! " 

"What are you talking about Queenie? " Percival insisted.

Great... So we were at that fateful moment when Percival was going to learn the truth. Fantastic... This evening was a real disaster. Christmas was going to be full of twists and turns. Queenie gave Credence a desperate look, as if she was afraid the young man would scream at her or run away.

"Credence, honey, I'm sorry... " she said in a trembling voice.

"It's all right, Queenie. " He reassured her.

Credence knew full well that Percival would one day find out what had happened at his birthday party, and why the youngest had refused to speak to him for months.

"Can someone tell me what the hell you're talking about?!" Percival raved.

"We're talking about you giving a French kiss to Credence at my house this summer at your birthday party! " Newt replied dryly.

"Newt, shut up! " Tina said.

He turned towards her, visibly very angry with Percival. It brought back memories of their childhood, when Newt always chose to stand up for Credence.

"What?" the young Scamander exclaimed. "He's not a baby anymore, he can handle his crap, can't he? "

That's it, the bomb was dropped. And it was going to be Credence's turn to deal with an increasingly confused and panicked Percival.

"Credence? " he called him.

Credence forced himself to keep his attention on his cup of coffee, playing distractedly with the handle, shrugging his shoulders before saying in a fake casual tone:

"It's all right, it's nothing serious... It was just my first kiss, nothing dramatic, right? Just me who went to that party to be humiliated like never before. "

"Oh Credence, honey... " Queenie sobbed.

"Credence, you don't have to talk about it if it hurts you... " Jacob added.

"No, it's all right, really! I mean, it could happen to anyone... It's not like it matters... And it'll never be worse than my love declaration on the piano, right? Or being insulted on New Year's Eve, right? " _You'll fuck the first idiot who tells you you're a fucking artist_ ". What a poet, truly. "

It was then that he ventured to look Percival in the eye. Credence felt anger and suffering boiling in his veins. And Percival's look of a beaten dog only made his bitterness rise a notch. Credence put his cup on the coffee table, clenched his fists, displaying an evil smile. He suddenly felt like hurting Percival as he had hurt him, putting him in front of his fault, making him understand his mistake. Newt was right: it was time for him to take responsibility for his mess. Credence said:

"You were drunk, you kissed me full on the mouth in the middle of the dance floor, in front of everyone, before spending the rest of the evening ignoring me. And finally, you begged me to go home with you, which I did, because I'm stupid and masochistic. There you collapsed on your bed, not without having tried to undress me, and fell asleep holding me tightly enough so that I couldn't leave. And in the morning I got a lovely " _What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"_ "

Percival moved backwards, shaking his head to deny the obvious. Credence felt more and more like crying, but he didn't want to collapse until he had said everything.

"Yeah... It's because you're Percival Graves, because everything has always revolved around you and I'm just one planet among others that gravitates around your light... Because I'm stupid and because you're always in a bad pass, so I always have to forgive you. And I do. Over and over again... "

Percival's eyes were shining with tears and his breathing seemed to get more and more painful. Everyone in the living room was silent, as if they were afraid to make the slightest gesture or sound.

"I... I didn't know... I don't remember. " Percival confessed

"Yeah... It's easier that way, isn't it? " Credence asked, coldly.

"No... No, it isn't. "

The words passed young Graves' lips in such a plaintive and broken way that Credence immediately blamed himself for being so cruel. He was better than that, better than resentment, better than anger.

A sob passed Percy's lips and he stood up suddenly before running into the stairs to disappear in his room. Tina apologized before leaving to follow him.

"What's going on?" Marlabelle asked , arriving from the kitchen with Cora.

The two women watched the small group with a worried eye. Credence had the impression of suffocating, and the comforting warmth of the living room gradually turned into an unbearable and unbreathable heat. He stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans in a nervous tic, and then he asked :

"Can I... can I go out for a smoke, Marlabelle? "

She seemed surprised by his question but simply said:

"Of course, darling. "

Credence picked up his coat before going out on the terrace. He needed to be alone, needed to calm down, to think about what had just happened. He had a headache, his blood pounding against his temples, his stomach was so tightly knotted that he was afraid to throw up. The cold air was good for him, the wind whipping his face seemed to put his mind at ease. He had been angry with Percy for so long that now that he had his "revenge" he just wanted to cry and ask for forgiveness.

Credence lit his cigarette, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes as the nicotine was acting directly on his nerves. With trembling hands, he took his phone out of his pocket and called Theseus. After two tones, he answered with a "Hello" that was far too cheerful for the occasion...

"He knows... " Credence said.

He pulled one out of his cigarette, smoking it too fast, making his head spin. Theseus laughed a little before answering:

"And good evening to you too, baby pearl. Who knows what? "

Credence didn't remember well when he had changed his nickname from "Pearl" to "Baby pearl", but over the last few months Theo had got into the habit of calling him by this name. Perhaps to mark a difference between the time when he was being a jerk to him and the time when he became a confidant.

"Percy... He knows about what happened the night of his birthday party."

"Ah... Right... "

Suddenly Theseus seemed much less amused. Credence kept silent, not sure what he should say. He expected Theo to ask him what he had told him, how it had happened, how Percival had reacted. But against all expectations, he asked in a serious tone:

"How do you feel? "

"Relieved in fact, I had felt as if I had been walking on eggshells for months. At least now he knows... So it's a good thing, I suppose. "

"It's a great thing, baby pearl! You must think about you first, Credence! Yes Percy has a complicated life, yes he's a good person, yes you're in love with him, but you mustn't always protect him, ok? He's the one who screwed up, not you, okay? That said, between us, he's often the one who screws up... "

"I... I think I was cruel to him... " he confessed.

"Because he hurt you, Credence. If you are able to forgive him for his misdeeds, he may well forgive you for talking to him dryly. "

Credence nodded, vaguely humming his approval before finishing his cigarette and smashing it into the ashtray next to the deckchairs. He stuck his phone between his ear and his shoulder and immediately lit a new cigarette. At the other end of the line, Theseus spoke to someone, moving the phone away so that he could answer to the voice that Credence thought he recognized as Leta.

"Credence, are you still there? " he asked afterwards.

"Why is everything always so complicated, Theo? "

"Because otherwise you'd be bored? " he joked.

"Yeah... " Credence answered, not at all convinced.

Theseus sighed heavily, looking for the right words to pronounce, before saying:

"I have no answer to give you, Credence. Maybe it takes time because that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm not a big fan of fate and all that bullshit, but sometimes I think that if you're not together yet, there's a reason. And quite frankly, Percy isn't well enough right now for you to start a healthy relationship. So maybe it's better that way... "

"He drinks a lot... "

"I know... "

"He drinks too much... "

"I know. I try to keep an eye on him and take care of him, but it's not always easy, and in the parties I'm not really an example... "

Credence thought that things might have been different if Theseus had been there. Maybe he could have intervened, maybe he would have known how to deal with Percival.

"It's a pity you're not here tonight. " the youngest said

"Oh, baby pearl, do you miss me my little cutie? " he laughed

His falsely mocking voice had the merit of making Credence smile.

"Ok, forget it, we're doing fine without you! " he chuckled.

"I would have liked to come too, but Leta's parents really insisted that we should spend the holidays there and I couldn't see myself saying no. There's a giant swimming pool and an indoor tennis court, damn it! "

"You're incorrigible. "

"I know! And I'm proud of it! Good evening, baby pearl? "

It was late, Theseus must have slipped away to pick up the phone. He always did, no matter what time Credence called him, and that meant a lot for the youngest.

"Good evening Theo. And thank you for answering, I hope I didn't bother you. "

"No problem Credence, that's also why you have my number, right? And don't forget: you first, Percy later! He's a big boy, okay? "

"Ok, bye. "

"Bye. "

Credence hung up, more serene than before the call. Theo had been able to find the right words, and he felt a little more reassured. He calmly finished his cigarette, glanced intermittently towards the living room. Tina still hadn't come down and the rest of the people in the room seemed to be talking seriously about what had happened. Of course Cora was aware that Percival had made a mistake, but Marlabelle had obviously just found out about it and looked rather shaken up. Credence didn't feel the strength to go inside and discuss it with her, and he wasn't really happy that she had been told. But if she wanted to help Percival, it was probably a necessary misfortune.

He was grateful that his friends gave him the space he needed and that no one came to see him. He didn't really feel in the mood to put up with Queenie's apology, or Tina's compassion or Newt's anger. Even less the understanding look in Jacob's eyes or the sadness of Cora and Marlabelle. He didn't want pity from anyone, he was too upset for that.

After some hesitation he lit a third cigarette. So much the worse for his lungs, he was already completely fucked up anyway. He moved away from the deckchairs and walked a little further into the garden, where he was completely in the shadow of the night. He watched the smoke leave his lips in a gentle dance, disappearing with the first breath of wind. He felt a bit like that whitish cloud: ephemeral.

"It's bad for your health. "

He did not need to turn around to know that Percival was behind him. He didn't feel calm enough to face his eyes reddened with tears. Because of him...

"It will never be worse than the alcohol you drink... "

He bit the inside of his cheek, cursing himself for not knowing how to hold his tongue.

"I'm sorry. " He apologized immediately.

"It doesn't matter," Percy sighed.

Without a word, they walked towards the swings together, sitting on them as they had so often done in the past. Silence fell as Credence finished his cigarette. Percival's eyes were glued to the ground, his hair partially hiding his face.

"No party at the University this year? " Credence asked.

"No, no party…"

"Perfect, because I have a gift. "

Percival raised his head abruptly, surprised by Credence's sentence. The younger one rummaged through one of the pockets of his coat before taking out a small rectangular package. He looked at it for a moment, as if he still hesitated to give it, before handing it to the brother of the twins. Percival held out a hesitant hand to the gift before taking it between his fingers as if it were a precious object. 

"Don't you want to wait until Christmas Eve? " the eldest asked.

"I'll buy you another present, if that's what you're worried about. "

"No, that's not what I meant... "

The panic was returning in Percival's voice so Credence hastened to add:

"I just don't want you to open it in front of everyone. "

Percival gave him his first real smile of the evening, and Credence felt his heart warm. Not everything was lost, not everything was broken. They just needed time. And Theseus was right, Percival wasn't stable enough to start a serious relationship, and Credence wasn't yet strong enough to help him fully.

Percy tore up the wrapping paper. He took the hand-painted harmonica in his hands. The drawings were beautiful, depicting a fairy-tale landscape similar to those he used to describe to Credence. When they were younger, Percival took the time to read books to the boy to help him go back to sleep after one of his nightmares. The emotion was clearly visible on the young Graves' face, and he turned to Credence and said :

"Credence, it is beautiful... "

The youngest had a vague hand gesture, shrugging his shoulders as if to say it was almost nothing.

"Tina told me you'd lost yours, so I thought you'd like it. "

"I do, thank you. "

"You're welcome. "

Percival carefully put the little instrument away in his inside pocket, his joy gradually giving way to melancholy.

Silence returned, simply filled with the few gusts of wind that made Credence shiver. When Percival's deep voice was heard again, it almost startled the young man.

"Tina... Tina told me that you had broken up with Abernathy. "

Credence stared at Percy. Of all the subjects in the world he had had to choose this one, one of the most painful. Percival must have noticed his distress as he quickly cleared his throat before apologizing:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, I thought... "

"No, it's fine. We broke up a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't really working out between us anymore. In fact, when I think about it, I'm not sure if it ever really worked... And let's just say that the blow he gave me really didn't help. "

Credence slapped himself mentally for letting that sentence pass his lips. He closed his eyes, hoping that Percival would not insist on his revelation. But it was a wasted effort...

"The blow? " Percival repeated.

The younger one smiled at him unconvincingly, as if what he had just said was not surprising, trying in vain to relax the atmosphere, before saying in an insecure voice:

"Er... Yeah... Shit, I shouldn't have said that... "

"He hit you? "

Percival was furious, even though he tried to hide it. Credence could see it in the sparkle in his eyes, in his fists clenched around the chains of the swing. He shook his head, regretting that he had spoken.

"I shouldn't have talked about it... " he whispered.

"What happened? "

Credence hadn't told anyone except Tina and Cora, even though he knew full well that Nagini suspected something. His roommate had often told him, during the three months he had been dating, that Abernathy was a "little prick" who didn't deserve him. Credence took a deep breath, nervously twisting his fingers, lowering his eyes to the floor. Then he replied: 

"He was quite jealous and possessive, and ... he was convinced that I was cheating on him, mostly because I refused to sleep with him. He always needed to check my messages, my calls, where I was going, who I was seeing. We argued a lot with Tina because of that. And then, one night, he came across my diary, something I hadn't written in years and uh... He read it and let's just say it was mostly about one thing... "

"What thing ? "

 _As if you don't know_... he thought.

"About you. It was all about you, in fact... It drove him mad, he started shouting at me, telling me awful things, insults I never thought I'd hear, and then he hit me. Cora came in at the same time, she threw him out, shouting " _I swear on my life that you will never touch another hair of my son's head again!_ ". Yeah, she was pretty mad... "

"What a son of a bitch! " Percival shouted.

He stood up, turning in a circle in front of Credence, his fists so clenched that his phalanges were white. Even though he was much thinner, Credence could see his muscles tightening, his jaw tensed in an expression of rage that the younger one had not seen since the fight against Theseus.

"Yes, not the best first experience of the couple that one could hope for. " Credence admitted.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... "

Credence was surprised to hear this, expecting more of a long list of curses against Abernathy. He raised his eyes to Perseval's face, a shiver rising his spine when he discovered the darkness of his irises.

"Why ? It is not your fault. I must have a soft spot for assholes, that's all... "

And he no longer wanted to be cruel, he no longer wanted to make Percival pay for his mistakes, but obviously his grudge was stronger than his forgiveness. Tears clouded the elder's eyes, and he blinked several times to make them disappear. Credence stood up, his hands trembling, and approached Percival to put his hand on his shoulder in a clumsy gesture.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude... And you are nothing like him, Percy. "

"No, you're right, I'm not a good person... "

 _That's not true... That's not true, you can't think that! I'm the weak one, the repulsive one, the sinful one, the bad one. I'm the one who's not a good person..._ Credence tried to silence the voice in his head, on the verge of crying, of falling apart in front of Percival.

"Percy, I... "

Suddenly, Percy closed his arms around Credence, holding him so tightly that the younger one was breathless. Slowly, Credence gave himself up to the embrace, burying his face in Percy's neck, breathing in his scent, clutching his hands to his coat on his back. He felt Percival tremble against him, and Credence didn't need to step aside to know that he was crying.

"Thank God she was there. And he was lucky that it was she who came in that day. " the eldest said . "I think if it had been me, if I had seen him hit you, I would have killed him. "

"It's all in the past…"he reassured him.

"I would have killed him. I swear to God I would have killed him. "

"I know... " he murmured.

The night seemed to freeze time, and they stayed in that embrace for a long while. Perhaps long minutes, perhaps long hours, Credence would have been unable to know. All he knew was that everything he had ever wanted, everything he had ever wished for, was there, against him, in his arms. And once again, Credence surrendered himself to the hope of a better future with the only Percival Graves.

* * *

Credence was dreaming. He knew it because the colors here were all sparkling, almost blinding. He was lost, or at least he felt like he was. His environment was not a landscape but more a heap of meaningless forms. There was a shape in the distance, a shadow moving far too fast for Credence to hope to catch it. Then there was a sound, a high-pitched, repetitive noise that vaguely resembled a melody. The sound continued to repeat itself several times, before Credence was pulled from sleep, waking up, eyelids heavy, to find that the noise was coming from his phone. He straightened up, picking up without checking the name of the caller or the time. 

"Hello? " he said, in a rough voice.

No answer, just a jerky breath on the other end of the line. Credence rubbed his eyes, gradually getting back to reality. It was still dark outside, he was still at Cora's house, his plane planned for the next evening.

"Hello? " he repeated.

"Do you hate me? "

Percy's trembling voice sounded like a cold shower and he was immediately completely awakened. He felt his heart racing and his stomach knotting up. 

"Percy? Percy, what's going on? " he asked.

Percy let out a painful sob. Credence sat properly on the edge of his bed, lighting his bedside lamp. He could feel the anxiety rising inside him at high speed.

"Do you hate me, Credence? Did I screw up this bad? "

"No, why are you asking me that? "

Credence stood up, looking out of his window to see if he could notice any lights on at the Gondsteain's or Percy's silhouette in the garden. But nothing, everything seemed dangerously quiet, and that terrified him. The young Graves' sad voice said:

"I'm rotten inside... I'm rotten inside, that's why everyone runs away from me... Why do you stay? Why do you always come back to me? "

"Percy, have you been drinking? "

"No... Yes... I'm lost, Credence. I'm full of shit. "

Credence put his phone on his bed, putting it on speaker while he found something to wear. He opted for old sweatpants and a deformed wool sweater.

"Where are you? " he asked.

Percival had a dry laugh, something that sounded painful and pathetic.

"Why are you worried about me? You should be furious at me! You should hate me! You should be happy to see me suffer! Why don't you? "

Credence felt his anguish rise to a new level. He picked up the phone in his trembling hands.

"Percy, you are scaring me... " he confessed. "Please tell me where you are... Please... Please... "

A heavy silence settled in, and Credence's heart drummed even louder against his chest, echoing in his temples. The wait for an answer seemed interminable. But finally, Percival said:

"In the flower park, where the tulips are asleep. You used to love to come here... "

Credence sighed briefly with relief. At least he wasn't on a bridge or on the rails of a train. _Why do you think such things?_ he reprimanded himself. After putting on his old trainers, Credence ran down the stairs.

"I'll meet you there, you don't move, okay? "

"I've ruined everything... " Percy cried. "I promised myself I'd look after you, take care of you like you were my little brother, but I failed... I failed because there's something rotten in me and it's consuming me. I had no right to do that to you... I had no right to steal your first kiss, I had no right to treat you like that, to insult you, to make you suffer... Why don't you hate me Credence? "

The younger one grabbed the house keys and then Cora's car too. She wouldn't blame him for borrowing the car without permission, especially in a situation like this.

"I'll be there in five minutes, okay? "

A new plaintive sound passed Percival's lips, and Credence ordered his legs to move faster, his hands to be more responsive, his mind to stop predicting the worst. He was going to find Percival, he was going to take him home, and everything was going to be all right. Because another scenario, the darkest and most terrifying of all, was simply unthinkable. Percy spoke again as Credence finally started the car, his phone on speaker on the passenger seat:

"I can't bear the thought of having hurt you. It makes me sick, and I hate myself so much! I was supposed to protect you... I was supposed to protect you, Credence! If I hadn't screwed up at my birthday party, you never would have dated that bastard! You'd be in my arms, you'd have forgiven me for everything... You should leave me, it would be better for you... "

This last sentence caused Credence to panic, and he accelerated further, his whole body tense with apprehension. There was a thud at the other end of the line, and Credence cried out: 

"Percival, don't hang up, I'm almost there! "

But the only answer he received was a tone, marking the end of the call.

"Damn it! Fuck, fuck! " he shouted, hitting the steering wheel.

He speeded up a bit more, nerves on edge, panic increasing. He parked in a sudden and approximate gesture, ignoring the horn that sounded behind him when he left the road to enter the car park. The place was deserted, and the cold breath of the night froze him to the bone when he left the vehicle. He locked the car before he ran off in the direction of the tulips, where he and the Goldsteins had spent many afternoons as children.

Fortunately, he saw Percy's silhouette sitting on a bench as he approached the place. He was reassured to see that the older one had not left. Credence slowed down, walking towards Percival, short of breath, a cold sweat on his back.

"Percy? " he called out to him when he was at his side.

The other one raised his eyes shining with tears towards him and a tired smile stretched his lips.

"My angel... " he murmured.

Then he stood up, staggering slightly, before clumsily taking Credence in his arms. Percy hugged him tightly, sighing at ease as he buried his face in the neck of the younger one. Credence gave him back his embrace, breathing deeply to calm his breathing and his panic-stricken heart. He was fine, he was all right, nothing happened to him, he was going to take him home, and everything would be okay.

Credence gasped when he felt Percival kiss his neck, his hands going down his body to come to rest on his hips. He moved aside, slightly uncomfortable, his cheeks red. Percy, for his part, did not seem at all aware of his attitude. This situation had a dangerous feeling of déjà vu...

The young Graves placed one of Credence's locks behind his ear, coming close enough for his breath to caress the youngest's skin. He smelled liquor, and this proximity did not augur any good...

"If I beg you to stay with me tonight, would you stay? " Percy asked.

Credence shivered, his heart beating wildly. Delicately he laid his hands on Percival's chest so that he could pull him away from him.

"Percy, you're not in your right mind, I'd rather we discuss all this when you're sober, okay? "

But obviously, Percival didn't think so since he took Credence's face in his hands before laying his forehead against his own, with his eyes closed. The younger one was finding it harder and harder to think, and the irregular beating of his heart was not helping at all. 

"I'm crazy... I'm crazy about you and I can't get you out of my head. I want you, I need you, all the time... "

Percival's voice was deep, and far too sensual for Credence to remain indifferent. But he took it upon himself, closing his eyes too, pushing on Percival's chest again, this time with more conviction.

"You don't know what you're saying... "

Percy walked away from him, now angry, his eyes glowing, his jaw clenched.

"I've always hated Abernathy! " he said dryly. "Even though I never met him. It made me sick to know that he could put his hands on you, that he could kiss you, that it was his name that you used to say when you talked about ' _boyfriend_ ' with Tina or Queenie. It should have been me, damn it! It should have been me all along! "

 _It could have been you_... thought Credence. Before he could answer, Percival brought him back against him, hugging him harder, almost desperately. He spoke softly, his lips against the ear of the younger one:

"I want you... I want you so badly... "

It had to stop, Credence had to get away from him, he had to resist being guided by his feelings. Percival was not in his normal state, and there was a great chance that this whole story would end like the evening of his birthday. Credence had to react, to behave as a responsible person, since Percy was incapable of doing so.

Placing his hands on the older man's shoulders, he pushed him away enough to be able to look into his eyes before he said in a firm tone:

"I'm going to take you home, okay? "

But instead of nodding, Percival leaned towards him, making a movement that looked dangerously like an attempt to kiss him. Credence pushed with all his strength to escape his lips.

"No! No, Percival, not twice! "

"Why not? "

Sadness had returned to young Graves' face. Credence took a deep breath to calm himself.

"I'm going to take you home, and if tomorrow you still feel like kissing me and you assume it, then we can have a talk. But not tonight, not like this, not knowing that you're drunk and don't know what you're doing... "

"I lo... "

"No! " he interrupted him sharply. "No, you can't tell me that! You can't tell me that and take it back later !"

Percy's dark eyes suddenly misted with tears, as if he was aware of what he had done. He buried his face in his hands, his body shaken with sobs that he tried in vain to control.

"I'm sorry... Forgive me, I'm sorry... "

Why did things always have to be so complicated? Credence passed his hand over his face, his anger gradually giving way to a calmer, sadder feeling. Something that tragically had a taste of resignation, and he hated it. He approached Percy gently, delicately placing a hand on his arm. He waited a moment for the older one to calm down, then he put his arm around his shoulders and led him to the car.

On the way back, Percy didn't say a word, staring at the landscape outside. Credence was silent too, his thoughts far too noisy for him to force himself to talk. The car clock showed four o'clock in the morning when he parked in front of Cora's house. Then he left the vehicle to come and help Percival walk to the Goldsteins' front door. He wasn't sure if Percy needed any assistance, but he categorically refused to leave without making sure that he had returned in his bed.

He rummaged through Percy's pockets to find his keys, waving at him to be quiet. Then he accompanied him to his room, with Percy rocking dangerously on the stairs. The young Graves sat on his bed, his face full of melancholy. Credence helped him take off his coat, then his shoes, and after some inner deliberation, his trousers. He helped him to lie down, asking him several times if he was all right. Percival just nodded quietly, still silent. Credence slipped away to bring him a glass of water, which he placed on the bedside table, before putting the blankets over the thinned body of the one who made his heart beat. 

He watched him for a moment, unable to choose between staying or running away. As he made a movement towards the door, Percy's fingers closed around his wrist.

"Stay..." he murmured.

"Percy, this is not a good idea... "

"Please... Please Credence, stay. "

This plea broke his heart. Credence suddenly felt so tired, so exhausted from all the feelings he was experiencing. In a movement made slow by the fatigue, he sat on the edge of the bed, unable to remove his wrist from Percy's grip. Tears came to his eyes, and in a breath he said:

"You're going to break my heart again... "

Behind him, he felt Percival straighten up. Then the older one wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. Credence closed his eyes, letting a few tears escape. Percy pulled gently on his jumper, enough to uncover his shoulder before coming to lay his lips against the younger one's skin. He kissed his neck, his jaw, the back of his neck, giving tender but deep kisses that made Credence shiver. 

"Stop... Please... "he whispered.

"Stay..." Percy repeated against his ear.

Credence yielded at the end of his strength. He took off his shoes before letting Percy bring him back to him, his chest against his back, his arms around his waist. Percival buried his face in Credence's hair, and after whispering a few unintelligible words, he fell asleep. There, in that soft embrace, Credence allowed himself to cry in silence, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. He was weak, he had always been weak... It was only when his tears calmed down that he sank into a dreamless sleep, his mind fogged by the smell of Percival Graves.

* * *

When he woke up, Credence was alone in the big bed. It took him a few seconds to remember what had happened the previous night. He straightened himself up, brushing his hair back, looking around him. Then he heard the voices of the Goldsteins on the ground floor, and the anguish returned at full gallop. He was terrified at the thought of going downstairs, at the thought of being confronted with the questioning looks of his friends and the indifference of Percival. History had this unfortunate tendency to repeat itself. He left the sheets, put on his trainers, ready to run away if things went wrong. Gathering all his courage, he went to the kitchen. Percy was there, silently drinking a cup of coffee, and Credence was momentarily reassured to see that only Marlabelle and Tina were present. Mrs. Goldstein looked up at him.

"Oh, Credence, darling, I didn't know you had slept here! " she said cheerfully. "Where did you sleep? "

 _Please... Please, Percy..._ he thought, feeling the sorrow rise in his heart, and the pain that accompanied it was almost unbearable. But Percival remained silent, his eyes fixed on the work surface, carefully avoiding looking at Credence. His heart broke, the pieces spreading through his being like thousands of sharp knives. _You knew it was going to happen like that, it's your fault, you can only blame yourself..._ _Who would want you Credence? Who would want that?_

"He slept in my room. "

Tina's voice brought him back to reality, and he turned to her. She looked both terribly sorry and really angry at her brother.

"Yes, I hope so, the sheets in the guest room haven't been changed for a while. " Marlabelle said, who didn't seem to notice the distress of Cora's son.

Feeling that he was about to burst into tears, Credence hastened to say:

"I must go. "

"Aren't you staying for breakfast?" Mrs. Goldstein wondered.

 _No, no, I can't stay here any longer, I must disappear, I have to save what is left of me..._ He shook his head, his lower lip starting to shake.

"Sorry, I... Sorry... " he stammered.

Then he ran away, his heart shattered again. Marlabelle made no comment on Credence's hasty departure, quickly finishing her meal before announcing that she would be in the garden. Percy cowered, trying to silence the inner voices telling him that he was a coward, that he had ruined everything, that this was the end. Tina stood up, visibly mad at him. And before leaving the kitchen she said in a cold tone:

"You are a piece of shit! Pull yourself together before it's too fucking late! "

And an unprecedented fear gripped young Graves' heart: maybe it was already too late... He waited until Tina was far enough away before he broke into tears.

He had to pull himself together, to become worthy of Credence, worthy of asking his forgiveness. He was going to recover, he had to, for himself, for Credence. A future without him would be far more painful than any torture. He had drunk for the last time. He had hurt Credence for the last time. This was not the end; the rest of his life began today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hide* I hope it wasn't too bad. ^^ Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment <3


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 5_

Turning 19 didn't really change much. He didn't even have time to celebrate his birthday because of the amount of work he had. March had gone by quickly and April was shaping up to be just as busy. But tonight, for the first time in more than three months, Credence and Nagini had decided to go out to take their minds off things. Lily, a classmate, had organised a big party to celebrate the end of one of their exams in a house outside the big city. That meant at least three hours of travel, if there wasn't too much traffic jam, and it was already 6pm.

Credence had spent a considerable amount of time getting ready, hogging the bathroom for several hours before finally coming out, impeccably styled, eyeliner around the eyes, a midnight blue shirt and tight trousers. Nagini was already in the car, waiting for him for a while. He quickly grabbed his trench coat, slipped his phone and keys into his pocket before leaving the flat. They were already well behind schedule, Nagini was going to kill him.

He crossed the entrance hall in great strides and walked out of the building, the humid air gripping his skin directly. He looked up, and for a moment he could have sworn he was hallucinating. He blinked several times, out of breath, immobilized by the surprise. Percy stood there, at the bottom of the few steps, his hands in his pockets, his back slightly arched, all his attention focused on Credence. The older one smiled shyly at him before straightening up to give himself some composure.

Credence stared at him while his brain decided to function again, before asking in a voice he would have liked to be more confident:

"What are you doing here? "

Percival opened and closed his mouth several times, looking for the best answer to this question.

"I... I don't really know, actually... " he confessed.

"Credence, are you coming? " Nagini shouted from the car a little further away.

Credence waved to her to let her know that he was coming before going down the steps to Percival. The oldest didn't move, just looking at him, the glow in his irises letting his emotion shine through. He was not as thin as at Christmas, but he had not yet recovered his athletic appearance. His hair had been cut, shorter near his ears. He looked like one of those tortured and mysterious SF actors whose incandescent beauty had something fascinating about it.

But Credence wasn't sure he wanted to be understanding or patient, even in front of such a beautiful face. He had had too much endless weeks, nights too short, too many meals eaten on the run and fits of anxiety and tears to be patient with Percy. Clenching his jaw, his hands tightly fisted in his pockets, he asked in a dry tone:

"Why didn't you call me? "

Percival seemed unsettled by the coldness of his voice and he moved back slightly as his smile faded. 

"I don't know, I thought... well, I thought... " he stammered.

"That I would always be available for you, no matter what, right? "

His sentence had the same effect as a slap in the face for young Graves, and that was the desired goal. The wound from the last holidays was still there, deep, bloody, more painful than ever on the evenings when he was lost in his memories. Three months and a few days were not enough for the wound to have healed in his heart.

"No, Credence, you... Credence, I wanted... "

"Credence, we are already late!" Nagini shouted from the car, pressing the horn several times.

They both jumped, Credence moving away from Percival, straightening his chin to give himself some confidence before saying in a falsely detached tone:

"Percy, this is a bad time, I have to go to a party, Nagini is planning to... "

"My father is dead. "

 _Bam._ Credence's heart missed a beat. He was expecting a billion things, but certainly not this announcement. He detailed Percival, shocked, unable to know how to react to this information. Percy turned dangerously pale, as if he had just realized the bomb he had just dropped. He suddenly looked uncomfortable and sad, lowering his eyes to the pavement, perhaps expecting Credence to leave him there, as if nothing had happened.

"Credence, for fuck's sake! "

The furious voice of his roommate brought Credence back to reality. Without a word for Percy, he walked towards the car, slightly shaking, trying to assimilate the news of Silas Graves' death. He put one hand on the handle. _You can’t… You can’t leave like that…_ He leaned through the window to talk to his friend, resting on the door.

"Would... would you hate me if I told you that I'm not going to come after all? "

Naguini shot him with her gaze.

"You're not serious? "

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Nag... "

"Who's that guy?" she raved.

 _A big question, indeed_... thought Credence, letting a sigh pass his lips before answering:

"Percival Graves..."

She turned to him so quickly that he was afraid she would hurt her neck. Her eyes were round, really surprised. Then the surprise gave way to anger. Nagini didn't know Percy, but it was obvious she didn't have him in her heart. She narrowed her eyes before saying:

"The " _Percival Graves_ " ? The " _Percival Graves_ " that has been making you cry for months? The " _Percival Graves_ " who assumes nothing? That **_Percival Graves_**?"

Credence had a slightly embarrassed pout, realizing how pathetic he must have looked to give up his only party of the session for a man who had broken his heart several times. Yes, it was pathetic... But it was for Percy, so it justified his choice...

"Yes... " he confessed.

"What does that bastard want with you? " she asked, dryly.

"It's complicated Nagini... "

Because it was the truth... It could hardly have been more complicated. Nagini sighed loudly, shaking her head, visibly against her friend's decision. But she knew him well enough to know that she would be unable to change his mind. 

"I guess you'll stay with him no matter what I say... " she sighed.

"There's a chance, yes... "

Nagini closed her eyes, exasperated. If things went wrong, she would have to put Credence back on his feet again, convince him to eat, to sleep, assure him that he was not a piece of rubbish, that he deserved to be loved. But he was a big boy, he was able to make his own choices, even if he obviously didn't learn from his mistakes. And the other idiot there looking at him with his watery eyes! He'll get what's coming to him, that fucking Percival! She took a deep breath before saying in a firm tone:

"Ok, I'll leave you with him on one condition: tomorrow morning he's in your bed when I bring breakfast! "

Credence blushed violently.

"Nagini! "

"In your bed, Credence!" she repeated louder. "And I want an apology, a bunch of flowers and chocolates from him, is that clear? For you, as for me! "

She seemed determined, and there was little point in negotiating. Credence gave her a smile.

"Ok. "

She started the engine with a sudden gesture. She was tense, but Credence knew she didn't really blame him. She was just anxious about leaving him alone tonight.

"That's enough bullshit, Lovegood ! " she added, waving him away.

He straightened up, waiting for her to start maneuvering, to return to the unexpected visitor. Percival had a strange look on his face, as if he couldn't believe that Credence had stayed, as if he expected to be left on the roadside. Perhaps he deserved it, but Credence was not cruel. Nagini passed them by, shouting one last time: " _In your bed, Credence Lovegood_! "before leaving in a squealing tyre.

Credence bit his lower lip, swaying back and forth on his heels. The weather wasn't particularly hot, but it wasn't cold, and it wasn't raining. Maybe a stroll through the streets of New York was the best thing to do. And besides, he wasn't sure he wanted to take Percy up to his flat. This space was still devoid of the image of the young Graves, and he was afraid that once he saw him in his kitchen, bathroom or bedroom, he would see him everywhere afterwards, like a mirage.

"Do you want to go for a walk? " Credence proposed.

"Yes... Yes, I would like that very much... "

Silence fell and they walked side by side for a long time. Credence found it hard to realize that Percival was there with him at the other end of the country. It was almost unreal, and it looked a bit too much like a romantic film scene... Under the yellowish light of the streetlamps, they entered a small deserted park, a place where the young artist used to go when he needed to think. He looked for a moment for the best thing to say before falling back on the one that seemed the most relevant in this context:

"I'm sorry about your father... "

"Me too..." Percy sighed. "The worst part is that I'm sadder to realize how bad and toxic he was than to know he's gone... "

Credence glanced at him, trying to read his expression. Percival was sad, but he was no longer filled with the melancholy that had frightened the young man.

"I'm not a good person either"... the older one said.

"Don't say that. "

"It's the truth! I hated him for years because he drank, because he was despicable with my mother, with Marlabelle, with me, and I do exactly the same. "

Despite his broken heart, despite the insults and wounds, Credence knew full well that Percival was wrong. He was not Silas, he was a thousand times better than this evil man.

"You're just a little bit lost, Percy, it happens to everyone. "

Percival had a white laugh. He shook his head before casting a strange glance at Credence. He had known him for years, and yet tonight more than ever he was unreadable. Percy stopped, and so did Credence a few steps further. He turned back to him, and Percival approached, raising one hand to caress Credence's cheek with his fingertips. A shiver went up his spine, and his heart quickened. A sweet smile appeared on Percy's lips before he said:

"No, it's not true, and you know it... you're the most perfect example of it. You had a shitty childhood, and that didn't stop you from becoming one of the best people I know. The best person I know, actually. "

Credence backed away suddenly, as if the contact had burned him. He had to protect himself, stop hoping, stop succumbing to Percival's charm, stop letting his feelings take over and finally consume him until there was nothing left.

"Stop it, please stop it. " he asked in an almost begging voice.

"What?" Percival wondered.

Credence clenched his teeth, tears at the edges of his eyes. He felt so weak, he felt like an easy prey unable to defend himself.

"Why me? " he asked suddenly. "Why did you come to see me? Why not Tina, Queenie, or Theo? Why me, Percival? "

Percival frowned, as if he couldn't understand what Credence was trying to say. Or maybe it was just that the answer seemed obvious to him. But Credence needed to know.

"I needed you... I needed to see you. "

"Why Percy? " he insisted.

His throat was sore, his stomach tied, his fists clenched to a point where his knuckles turned white. Percival took a step backwards, lowering his eyes to the ground, before answering in a low voice:

"I can't tell you... Not yet... "

"Tell me what? "

Percy met his eyes again. Credence must have looked utterly desperate, because he thought he recognized something in the dark eyes that looked like compassion. But he didn't need that, he didn't want Percival's pity. He was waiting for something else, something more powerful and overwhelming, something that would give him wings, that would give meaning to his life. He felt so frustrated by Percival's sad and lost face, and he was even more frustrated when Percival said:

"You know very well what I'm talking about... "

Credence almost felt like tapping his foot like a child, or shaking Percival. An acidic tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away, clenching his jaw so as not to scream as he said in a dry voice:

"No! No, I don't know! Because, you see, one day you're begging me to stay and the next day I'm nobody. How am I supposed to react? Tell me what I should do? God, this is ridiculous! This whole situation is completely ridiculous! You turn up unexpectedly, just like that, without a message or a call in more than three months, and I drop everything for you! I can't do that Percy! I can't go on like this anymore... "

"Credence. " Percy tried to interrupt him.

But he needed to let out what was so painfully twisting his insides.

"You can't use me like that! I'm sorry about your father, I really am, because I know how much he made you suffer, and how much you wanted to make him understand that. But that doesn't give you the right to come here and turn everything upside down! "

His breathing was getting harder and harder, and tears kept him from seeing Percival's reaction. He felt panicked, confused, exhausted, as if the last months of convincing himself that he was going to turn the page were coming back to him, putting him in front of his failure. He grabbed his hair, closing his eyes firmly to try to calm the painful beating of his heart. He hadn't had a crying fit like this in years, and he felt ridiculous. He was once again that lost little boy, petrified at the thought of being abandoned, terrified at the threat of being made fun of.

Strong arms embraced him, bringing him back into an embrace that Credence had seemed to be seeking for years. Percy slipped one hand through his hair, the other making circles between his shoulder blades, kissing his temple before resting his cheek on the top of his head.

Credence gradually allowed himself to relax, burying his face in Percival's shoulder, his tears soaking his coat.

His sobs slowly calmed as he lay there, cowering against Percy's chest. The young Graves waited until his tears had completely quieted before breaking the silence:

"I cannot tell you this now, and I know I no longer have the right to ask you this, but wait for me, Credence! Wait for me, I'm almost there, I've never been so close. "

"What are you talking about? " he asked, his voice made rougher by his crying.

"I've never been so close to becoming someone good enough for you."

Credence's heart leapt into his chest. It sounded strangely like a promise, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying. Credence held his breath and Percival continued: 

"I just want to finish sorting out the mess that is my life, and then I promise I'll come back to you... "

Credence gently moved away from him, wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, inhaling deeply to wipe what was left of his sobs. He looked at a tree in the distance.

"So why did you come tonight? " he asked.

Percy put his hand on his cheek, tenderly forcing him to look him in the eye. He had a soft smile on his lips, the kind of grin that made a multitude of butterflies fly in the belly of the youngest. He looked calm, serene, determined.

"To let you know that the rest of my life is you. " he said. "It starts with you, it ends with you, otherwise nothing makes sense anymore. "

Credence's breath was taken away again. He had hoped for these words so many times, that he felt like he was dreaming. But Percy was there, in front of him, more beautiful and sincere than ever. _Otherwise nothing makes sense anymore..._

"Ok... " Credence murmured.

"Ok?" Percy repeated, his eyes shining, standing up as if a huge weight had just been lifted from his shoulders.

"Yes, okay." Credence smiled, more confident this time.

Percy took him in his arms at once, holding him tightly, whispering a litany of thanks. _I am alive... I'm alive now_ , Credence thought.

* * *

It was a quiet and warm place. The bar wasn't very big and the list of drinks on offer was quite small, but they had good music and shelves full of books. It was one of Credence's favorite places, especially on a night like this, where he sat across from Percival, listening distractedly to " _Dream a little dream of me_ " echoing through the room.

The waiter walked towards them, warmly greeting Credence before taking their orders. The youngest chose a Coke, and he couldn't hold back the smile that stretched his lips when Percy asked for the same thing. Then the waiter moved away, and Percival laid his eyes back on the student. Credence held his gaze for a moment before blushing and shifting his attention to the few couples dancing a little further away. When he turned around again, Percy still looked at him with the same intensity, a happy smile on his lips.

"What?" Credence asked.

"Nothing, nothing. "

"Yes, you're looking at me strangely, what's the matter? "

Percy bit his lower lip, blushing gently before bending over the table to say : 

"You're beautiful, you know that, don't you? "

Credence felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair. He made an unconvincing pout to Percival before waving him to leave the subject aside. But Percy bent over a little more, enough to be able to place a dark lock behind his ear with such delicacy that Credence shuddered.

"You are. " Percy insisted. "That's partly why I've always been... how shall I say... fascinated. "

"You weren't fascinated by me! " Credence laughed.

That Percy might have feelings for him was one thing, a hard thing to admit, but it was still plausible, but this story of "fascination" was simply ridiculous. Credence found himself skinny, too skinny, with a body muscular enough for his shoulders to stand out but not enough to take away this androgynous aspect of his physique. His hair was pretty enough, but his face was emaciated, his jaw too marked, his lips too big, his eyes too small and he hated the shape of his nose. In short, he thought he was acceptable, but he didn't consider himself to be handsome. Perhaps the only thing that set him apart from the others was his interest in clothes and "supermodel" outfits as Queenie called them.

Percy's lips against his cheek brought him back to reality, and he almost startled, surprised by the contact. His cheeks were even hotter than before. Percival sat back, smiling so happily at him that he made his heart capsize.

"Oh yes I was...You're beautiful, I think you're stunning and quite honestly I think half the people here are wondering what you're doing with me."

"Stop it Percy. " Credence whispered, embarrassed.

Percival laughed a little, but he abandoned the subject, turning his gaze to the people dancing. The waiter brought their drinks before leaving them alone again. After a moment, Credence cleared his throat before saying:

"So... I learned that Leta had left Theseus. How is he? "

Percy seemed surprised by the question, he frowned before saying:

"Didn't he call you? "

That confirmed what Credence thought: Percival knew about the calls with Theo, about the night conversations too. It wasn't a secret, but he was quite puzzled that Theseus didn't keep it to himself.

"He called me, but you know Theo, to find out how he is, I mean, how he really is, it's complicated. " the younger one replied.

Percival looked at him in detail for a few seconds before a smile returned to his lips. He took a sip of Coke before answering:

"Actually, he's quite well! He... how can I say this politely... He is exploring his sexuality."

Credence didn't expect this answer, and at the same time, he couldn't really say he was surprised. Theo was still Theo, and there was only one on this earth, so he might as well be true to himself.

"Oh... Oh, okay. So he's with a man now? "

"Depends on the day. " Percy giggled. "Well, I should say it depends mostly on the nights. "

Credence was red as a peony again. This made young Graves smile even more.

"That's a good thing. " Percival continued. "He looks freer, more in phase with himself, lighter. He looks happy. And he doesn't want to start a serious relationship right away, which I can understand. "

The end of the sentence awakened something painful in Credence's heart, and his smile faded as he cast a questioning glance at the older one.

"Because you don't want to start a serious relationship? " he asked, more dryly than he would have liked.

Percival lost his cheerful air as well. But he quickly seemed to understand Credence's distress as he took one of his hands between his fingers before bringing it to his lips, kissing his palm with tenderness, before placing a kiss on each of his fingers. Credence felt his heart fly away and the butterflies swirl inside his belly. He felt like he was falling even more in love with Percy at that moment, and it scared him to death. He was terrified of finally living for someone, even though he had waited his whole life for this. Percy intertwined their hands before answering the question, and Credence's anguish: 

"I want to have a serious relationship, that's why I'm putting my life in order. That's why I'm here tonight, and that's why I promised myself that I would become good enough for you. "

A small nervous laugh passed the lips of the youngest. He was incredibly happy. Percy was there for him and he was going to come back, they were going to build something together.

"Did you know Theo had a crush on you? "

Credence opened his eyes wide, this time really choking on his drink. He coughed for a moment, putting one hand on his chest. He felt as if his face had gone through every shade of red tonight.

"Oh my God, you knew!" Percival exclaimed. "How did you find out? "

The question was more " _how did you find out Theo had a crush on me_ ", but he didn't really feel like asking. So he cleared his throat before answering shyly:

"He told me... "

It was Percival's turn to be surprised.

"Oh, boy! I guess he's better at this than I am! "

The older one had said this jokingly, but the reflection had more impact than expected, and Credence could see from here Percival's brain getting lost in his thoughts and anxieties. The student brought their hands tied to his mouth, kissing Percival's fingers under his emotional gaze.

"Too bad I don't have feelings for Theo, right? " he joked.

That seemed to relax Percival, who slowly regained his smile. The music changed abruptly enough to draw the two men's attention to the piece that began. " _La vie en rose,_ " Louis Armstrong's version. Percy's bright eyes turned to Credence, and in a gesture so delicate that the younger man would have cried, Percy stood up before leading him to the dance floor.

He pulled him close, one hand around his waist, the other holding the young artist's delicate fingers. A tear came out of Credence's eyes before he rested his head against Percy's shoulder, letting himself be soothed by the gentle slow dance. He would have wanted this music to last all night, all life, all eternity. Tonight, in this bar, in the comforting warmth, in that wonderful embrace, he was finally complete. The rest could wait, the world could collapse, nothing could ever change that, on this dance floor, he was entirely Percival Graves'. And deep in his heart he knew that Percy was his. The center of his universe.

* * *

"Credence? Are you asleep?"

It hadn't even been twenty minutes since he had let Percy lie on the couch after giving him a sleeping bag and a pillow. They had said good night to each other like two teenagers sleeping in the same house for the first time, a nervous smile on their lips. Credence had convinced himself that it was better this way, that it was much less dangerous like this. But apparently Mr. Graves didn't think so!

Percival didn't wait for the youngest's answer and entered his room before slipping under the covers, embracing his waist. Credence hummed his protest, arranging his legs to be more comfortable, trying to ignore his heart pounding in his chest. (A sort of " _Percival is in my bed_ " that was repeated over and over again.)

"Cree? " Percy whispered against his ear.

Well, he was awake, there was little point in trying to hide it. After a sigh he turned to lie on his back, doing his best not to push Percival out of the small bed. He plunged his eyes into the eyes of the older one, who was leaning on his elbow so that he could look at him more easily.

"Why didn't you insult me the next morning? " he asked, still in a low voice.

Credence frowned, not sure if he was following Percy's train of thought. Then he whispered:

"What?"

"When I didn't say you stayed with me on Christmas holidays, why didn't you get angry? "

 _Because it was far too painful to realise that without the alcohol you couldn't even look me directly..._ he thought. He looked up at the ceiling, contemplating the imaginary drawings in the strokes of paint. Percival waited patiently for his answer, aware that there was no point in pushing Credence into confidence. The student finally said:

"Would you have wanted me to make a scene in front of Marlabelle? "

"I would have deserved it... "

"It's true... But I've never been much of a fighter, I'm more the kind of person who takes the blow... "

This harsh truth seemed to hit Percy hard. Credence kept his irises glued to the ceiling, far too aware of the impact of his sentence to venture to look at Percival's sad and distressed face. The young Graves moved beside him, resting his head gently on his shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around Credence's waist, burying his face in his neck.

"I am sorry. " he murmured.

"I know... " he replied in the same tone.

Silence returned to the room. Credence distractedly stroked Percy's hair, letting the questions turn in his mind. Had he made the right choices? Was the worst behind them? Was Percy going to hold him tight tomorrow? Or was he going to run away? Credence's heart would not survive again, not after that night. It was certain that if Percival decided to never come back, despite his promises, Credence would be in great danger of letting himself die.

"Can I kiss you? "

Credence was brought back to the present by this more than unexpected (but hoped-for) question from Percy. He looked down at the young man, detailing him for a moment in the darkness of his room. A few years ago, he might have jumped at the chance, but tonight was different. It wasn't a simple kiss for a spin-the-bottle, or a timid exchange under the mistletoe. It was about a promise, a truth told without a word.

"I thought we had to wait until you were worthy of me. " he replied.

Percival stood up on his forearms, his face above Credence's, passing his fingers through the black curls. Credence swallowed with difficulty, crashing a little more against his pillow.

"I just want to rediscover what I so cowardly forgot..." Percy murmured.

It was dangerous... It was far too dangerous... But Crendence couldn't say no to that request tonight.

Unable to say his answer out loud, Credence simply nodded. Percy bent down slowly, first kissing his forehead, then his cheekbones, cheeks, and jaw, before stopping a few inches from his lips. Credence could hear his heart beating in his ears, and he knew his breathing was out of control. He felt as if he was melting, liquefying, as he waited for that new first kiss.

Percival finally erased the space between them, and Credence closed his eyes, abandoning himself entirely to the kiss. It was much softer and more delicate than at the party. Credence felt precious, that Percival was discovering his lips as the warmth felt on his skin for the very first time. Credence responded to the kiss, tying his arms around the older man's neck to bring him closer. Percival stood completely above him, supporting himself on his forearms so as not to weigh on Credence's body. The exchange became more intense, messier, more hurried too.

And Credence could have let himself go, he could have sent away all his fears, all his apprehensions. But Credence remained fragile, and when Percival grabbed his fingers around his waist, under his shirt, he made a sudden movement backwards.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Percy excused himself immediately, ending the kiss, straightening himself up enough to give Credence the space he needed to leave if he wanted to.

They were both out of breath, their hair mussed, their lips swollen. Credence curled up, closing his eyelids tightly, suddenly realizing that he had just broken one of the most beautiful moments of his life. He was about to cry, he felt it, and he hated himself even more. _You're ridiculous, you're so weak..._ A few seconds before he was terrified that Percival would touch him, only to evaporate the next day, and now he was panicked that he would never want to lay a hand on him again. He had ruined everything...

"Credence? Credence, what's wrong? Talk to me. "

He reopened his eyes to see Percy's worried face, which still stood above him at a reasonable distance. Credence closed his arms around his shoulders, burying his face in his neck, clutching him tightly, in a desperate attempt to keep him. But instead of moving away, Percy changed their position, lying on his side, bringing Credence even closer, kissing his temples, his arms around the thin body of the young artist. Credence found himself even more ridiculous when he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, but Percival made no remarks, simply whispering comforting words in his ear. 

"You won't forget ? " Credence asked against the skin of young Graves.

"No, definitely not," he replied.

This affirmation reassured Credence, who felt the panic slowly dissipate, leaving behind a feeling of embarrassment. At his age, almost everyone had experienced much more than just a kiss, but Credence had always been terrorized by intimacy. And Abernathy's abruptness a few months earlier had done nothing to help. But Percy was different, Percy understood, he would be patient, he would be tender, he would make sure to put Credence first. At least he hoped he would.

After a few minutes, Credence pulled away so he could look at Percival. They intertwined their legs and hands, smiling to each other like two shy teenagers. Percy kissed the tip of his nose, making him laugh. Then he said:

"Can we choose a word for us ? "

"A word? "

"You know, like in that Netflix series with the psychopath who falls in love. In the second season, he and his girlfriend have a word to say to each other that... well, you know... "

Yes, he knew the "YOU". Nagini had found the lead role terrifying, arguing that Penn Badgley was so perfect in his character that his beauty became frightening and disturbing. But Credence remembered the line Percy wanted to talk about perfectly. 

" ‘ _I wolf you?_ ’ "

"Yes... I'd like to have something like that with you, while I sort out my life. "

Credence hesitated for a moment. Things were becoming more and more concrete, real, and promises were becoming more and more tangible. The idea of the word was interesting, it might be easier for Percy to open without the pressure of the famous three words. He thought about it, before finally finding what best suited their relationship.

"I sea you. " He suggested

Percival frowned

"I see you ? "

"No, I sea you, like the sea, the waves, the sun, the sand... "

Percy had a slightly disappointed pout, lowering his eyes to their tied hands before saying:

"You've always hated the sea... "

"No! I didn't like coming to the water, but I always enjoyed our afternoons at the beach. It was just Theo who made it... complicated... "

"That and the fact that you couldn't help but ogle my half-naked body. " he laughed.

"Not everything was always about you, Percival. " Credence defended himself.

Percival raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on his lips. Credence sighed, raised his eyes to the sky before surrendering and confessing:

"Ok, it was all about you! "

Percy's laughter ricocheted off the walls of the student's room, and he thought that he wanted that sound to live in that room for months to come. Credence admired the oldest, he contemplated his bright eyes, his dark hair, his strong jaw, his lips, his neck. He found him beautiful, he found him perfect. Percival noticed his gaze and approached gently to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I sea you..." he murmured afterwards.

"I sea you too... "

And after a last kiss, Credence allowed himself to close his eyes, happier and more reassured than he had been in a very long time. Everything would be fine, they would recover, and maybe he wasn't just a simple planet gravitating around Percy's light, maybe he was a star alongside the sun, a star capable of loving him without burning its wings. A star with a future.

* * *

When Credence opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the pressure around his belly. He blinked his eyelids several times, gradually getting used to the light in the room, remembering the day before, Percy's promises and kisses. He blushed slightly, smiling at the mere thought of kissing Percy and more than aware of the warmth of the older one' s chest against his back. The arms tightened around his waist as Percy pushed his face deeper into his neck. Credence felt that he could have stayed there all his life, but his stomach decided otherwise, rumbling loudly.

Percival had a small laugh that made Credence shudder against him. The elder one placed a tender kiss at the junction of his neck and his shoulder. Yes, Credence could definitely have stayed here for eternity.

"Hi. " Percy murmured.

"Hello. "

In the kitchen there was a loud crash before Nagini started cursing loudly. Credence turned into Peceval's arms to face him. Percy took the opportunity to put butterfly kisses on his cheek, jaw, temple, his eyes still heavy with sleep, but he had a happy smile on his face. A crystalline laughter passed from the youngest's lips.

"I'm not sure I want to let you get up. " Percy smiled.

"Fucking toaster shit!" Nagini raged.

Percival seemed tense because of Credence's roommate's voice. The younger one sighed briefly. He just hoped Nagini wouldn't be too hard on Percy. He kissed the tip of young Graves' nose before announcing that he was going to prepare breakfast. The other nodded, finding his smile again, before opening his arms to let him stand.

Credence left the bed, tidying his hair, arranging his long T-shirt under Percy's tender gaze. After one last smile, he went into the kitchen. Nagini was fighting with a poor bagel. She had prepared a huge brunch, there was food on almost the entire table. She had bought pastries, biscuits, ham, bacon. There was even fruit juice, bread, brioche and jam. Had she slept that night, or had she gone straight on to preparing the brunch after her evening? Obviously, Credence would not have to make breakfast.

"Oh God, I hate this face! " she exclaimed.

Credence looked up at her, unsure of what she meant. Nagini detailed him, a grimace on her lips before taking a sip of coffee.

"What face? " Credence asked.

"That face! The one that said: " _I didn't fuck him, but he's so adorable that I've forgiven him everything_. " "

Credence blushed furiously, hoping Percy hadn't heard that remark.

"Nagini sometimes you are rude. "

"I don't care! Did he at least apologize properly? "

She was tense, as if she was waiting for Percival to appear so that she could put him back in his place. Credence could not blame her, she had seen him cry too many times because of the young Graves.

"It's more complicated than that... " he said, sitting on one of the chairs.

"More complicated than what? What's complicated about admitting that he acted like an asshole? "

Credence opened his mouth to answer, but Percival's voice was heard at the same time.

"Good morning. "

" _Good morning_ , it depends for whom, Percy the Princess!" Nagini replied dryly.

Percival turned pale, swallowing with difficulty. Nagini put down her cup, advancing quickly towards the newcomer, teeth clenched.

"Nag, please... "

She ignored Credence, shooting Percival with her eyes. From day one, she had promised herself that she would take care of the young man, that she would make him feel protected and accepted. Credence was one of the most wonderful people she had ever met, and there was no way she was going to let **_Percival fucking Graves_** get away with it without having told him what she was thinking.

"You, I don't like you very much! You'd better prove to me that you're worth it! I don't give a fuck whether you're the future president or Darth Vader's illegitimate son, you fucked up! I've known him for almost seven months now, seven months I've been picking up the pieces with the help of your sisters and his mother, so it would be in your interest that you don't screw things up like last Christmas! Do we understand each other well, sweetie? "

Percival swallows hardly again, nodding before answering with a slightly insecure voice: 

"We understand each other perfectly. "

Credence bites the inside of his cheek so as not to smile. He knew very well the effect that Nagini could have on people. She had become a master in the art of making anyone who got in her way anxious. And Percival looked strangely like a small animal trapped by a snake with sharp fangs. It was amusing to see him so frightened, especially knowing that Nag was one head shorter than he was.

"Great!" she smiled. "Enjoy your meal ! "

She picked up her coffee, winked at Credence, before leaving the kitchen and locking herself in the bathroom. He should really thank her for all that she had cooked for them. A second later, the door opened again and she shouted:

"And I want my fucking flowers and chocolates, damn it! "

Before slamming the door. Percival froze for a moment, blinking several times before turning his attention to Credence. The younger one smiled at him, both amused and compassionate.

"I'm sorry. " he laughed softly at Percy's shaken look.

"No, she's right. It's good that you're making other friends. She seems... nice? "

A new laugh passed Credence's lips.

"She is. " he replied.

Percival walked towards him, but instead of sitting on the chair beside him, he knelt in front of him, putting his cheek on his thighs, sighing while closing his eyes. Credence stroked his hair, waiting for him to relax, both surprised by the older one's behavior and at the same time delighted to see that Percival was not running away from his contact but seemed craving it.

"I'm sorry... " Percy murmured.

"I know... "

They stayed like this for a long time before he sat up to sit next to Credence. Percy looked sad, or at least upset about something. Suddenly the thought of having monopolized the attention when Percival had just lost his father tied the student's guts. The previous evening, everything had revolved around him, his anxieties, his need to be reassured, whereas the older one had much more reason to need to be comforted.

Percy stroked his cheek before passing his finger under his chin to force Credence to look him in the eye.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

"I'm... I'm sorry about last night. "

Percival raised his eyebrows, visibly surprised and destabilized by this excuse.

"Sorry? Sorry for what? "

Credence turned to be completely in front of him, biting his lower lip while trying to find the right words. Percy's hand rested on his cheek and Credence leaned against it, trying to capture the feeling.

"Credence? "

"You... You've just lost your father, and I've spent the evening making it all about me when you probably came for support. I'm sorry I acted so selfishly; I should have... "

Percy kissed him suddenly, although the exchange remained tender, preventing him from continuing his sentence. Credence's breath remained stuck in his lungs. He would have to get used to it. The thought warmed his heart. He could definitely get used to Percival's lips against his own. He closed his eyes, kissing him back once the surprise was over, until they ran out of air.

Percival then placed his forehead against his own, his hands framing the younger one's face.

"Credence, you have not been selfish! " he said. "And you had every reason in the world to act as you did! You were wonderful, my angel. You are so much better than me, Credence. So, so much better. And I needed you so badly "

"But your father... "

"My father has always been the darkness of my life. " He interrupted him. "You are the bright part, and I desperately needed that light, I needed you, to cover all the shadows. And so you did. Just like you always do. "

He moved aside so he could detail Credence with his eyes shining with emotion. The student felt like he was being seen for the first time, really being seen, and his heartbeat quickened even more. It was Credence who removed the space between them this time, wrapping his arms around his neck. It was clumsy, but it was sincere, it was true, and as Theo had said so well, you would have had to be blind not to see how much he was in love with Percival.

"I sea you. " he murmured afterwards.

"I sea you. " Percy smiled. "More than you think. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything will be all right <3


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapiter 6_

It was quite strange to realize how nothing had changed. The town was still the same, the house hadn't moved, and Credence almost expected to come across a child's version of himself in the airport.

The university year had ended with difficulty, largely because Credence was putting too much pressure on himself and was always seeking excellence. Nagini had often told him that his perfectionist side would drive him crazy if he didn't accept mistakes more as learning rather than failure. Cora had scolded him a lot about his diet too, noticing how much weight he had lost on each of her visits. It was therefore not uncommon for Credence to receive food from her, and it was quite comforting.

Tina and Queenie had come to spend several weeks in New York at the end of July and immediately became friends with Nag. Newt and Jacob had been unable to come, having chosen to go on a six-month immersion trip to Australia. Something related to kangaroos and spiders.

The holidays had done a lot of good, even though Percival's absence was becoming increasingly difficult to bear. He hadn't been able to take any holidays since his visit in April, and Credence missed him terribly. They called each other regularly, even though Percival never spoke much and only briefly answered the youngest's questions. Credence knew he was not doing this because he was annoyed, but rather because the phone calls and video calls reminded him how far away Credence was. " _I don't like to hear your voice through a phone or a computer because I feel like you're a million years away from me, that you're not real and you're going to disappear_ ," Percy once told him.

But he still made the effort to send him messages every day. And the most romantic part of it all was the bunches of flowers sent unexpectedly, the love letters, poems and childhood photos that Grave emailed him. Nagini thought it was ridiculous, even though it never stopped her from stealing a few chocolates from Credence's boxes.

In other words, the months had gone by, punctuated by visits from friends and family, phone calls, gifts, letters and the reassuring " _I sea you_ " said every day.

Then the summer had ended and classes had resumed without Credence being able to see Percival again. He didn't dare to go to Los Angeles unexpectedly to see him. He told himself that Percy needed time, that when he would be ready, he would come back to him, as he had promised. " _In any case, if he breaks your heart, I'll break his neck_ ", Nagini often told him when she saw Credence get lost in his thoughts.

The second year of University was just as interesting as the first. It was also less tiring because Credence won a scholarship that allowed him to give up his job at the café. And the days became weeks, then months, and slowly but surely Christmas holidays came. Nagini decided to stay in New York for the break, despite the invitation of the Goldstein sisters. Credence returned to California alone, anxious to see Percy, who had taken 15 days off for the occasion. At least, that was the plan...

When he arrived at the airport, he was greeted by the twins and their boyfriends, happier than ever to see him again. He swallowed his disappointment at not seeing Percival, and concentrated on the joy of reuniting with his friends. Newt and Jacob talked about their journey on the way home. They had a lot of anecdotes and adventures to tell, each one more incredible than the last. A few minutes before they arrived, Credence ventured to ask:

"Has Percy arrived? "

Tina lost her smile and looked at him for a moment. Then she frowned and said :

"Didn't he warn you? He's not coming to Marlabelle this year for Christmas Eve, he's spending Christmas with Theo at a friend's house. "

Credence turned to her quickly, shocked. It was a joke! It had to be a joke. Percival would never have done that, he would have told him, he wouldn't have chosen to leave with friends rather than come and see him. He had promised that they would have a conversation, that they would clear things up. He promised! Tears came to his eyes, and he clenched his fists, feeling the anger flowing through his veins.

"But ... But he told me that ... " he stammered.

Queenie wrapped an arm around his shoulders, giving her sister a reproachful look, before saying with a comforting smile:

"He'll be here on New Year's Eve, honey. He's coming home in six days. "

Tina bit her lip, realizing how much she had hurt her friend. But it wasn't her fault. Credence clenched his teeth, more and more furious at Percival. And it wasn't because he was going to arrive like a flower in 6 days that all would be forgiven!

The rest of the journey was done in silence, Credence watching the scenery go by through the window, ignoring the worried looks of his friends. Acid tears were burning his eyes. The tension was almost palpable, giving the reunion a bitter taste that the young man would have liked to avoid.

Once he arrived in front of his house, he announced to the others that he would soon join them before going inside. Cora had not yet returned from work. Perfect, he didn't feel able to wait another minute ! He took out his phone and dialed Grave's number. Percival picked it up after several tones.

"You're a piece of shit! " Credence shouted.

He was angrier than ever. He felt betrayed, left out like an old T-shirt on the floor. Percy seemed shocked as he was unable to answer anything but a poor:

"Uh, okay... "

"You're a fucking liar, you told me we'd talk! Percival, you promised! You said we'd spend the holidays together to talk about us, about our relationship! "

"And I haven't changed my mind about that, what... "

But Credence didn't let him finish his sentence, his heart beating against his rib cage, his knuckles white, tears of frustration on his cheeks.

"Why aren't you here? Why are you God knows where with God knows whom? Damn it, Percival, you've only got 15 days off and you're seriously going to spend half of it getting drunk with Theseus? That's what I'm reduced to? Waiting for you to deign to give me some of your time once you've had enough of the party? "

His voice broke over the last words, and he was having more and more trouble breathing. He couldn't believe it. How could Percy do such a thing to him? Everything had been going so well since his visit in April, why was he ruining everything like that? Credence put a hand over his eyes, trying to calm his breathing.

"Ok, angel, I understand that you are angry. But I had no choice, things are... "

A bitter laugh passed the lips of the youngest.

"You had no choice? " he repeated. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! "

And as if things weren't complicated and painful enough, Credence heard a female voice say:

"Percy, the speech is about to begin. "

Credence's heart squeezed abruptly, so violently that his head turned. He let himself fall heavily on the sofa, one hand clutching his hair, his stomach in a knot. He wanted to vomit.

"Who is it? " he asked sharply.

"Crendence, please calm down. " Percy asked calmly.

"Don't tell me to calm down, Grave! Who was it? You're going to drive me fucking crazy! I've been waiting months to see you again! For months I've been content with a few phone calls and a couple of poems written on the fly, because you don't have the time, because you're scared, because you're afraid to say the wrong thing! All this just to learn from your sister that you won't be here until next week! Do I count so little that you don't even bother to tell me? "

"I didn't have a choice!" Percival raved. "My company proposed this trip at the last minute and if I want to get the promotion I'm aiming for, I have to be there! Do you think it pleases me to know that I will see you even less than I had planned? I miss you like crazy! I've felt like I've been dying away from you for months now! "

Hearing Percival scream seemed to shake Credence enough to make his breathing a little more regular. But this relief was short-lived as it quickly gave way to silent and painful sobs. The student wiped his cheeks, trying in vain to calm his tears. Tina was wrong, Percy hadn't gone with friends, he had left for work. And even if it didn't make everything better, it still changed things. Percival sighed before saying in a sad voice:

"I apologize, I shouldn't have shouted... And the voice you heard was Alice, a colleague of mine. And I should have warned you about all this, I'm sorry... "

Credence remained silent. He didn't really know what to answer. He just felt lonely and abandoned, not good enough, not important enough. He felt like a vaguely endearing person that you like to have in your life as long as it's not too much of a burden.

"Fuck, I keep screwing up!" Percy cried. "And I don't want you to think that my promotion is more important than you, that's not the case, okay? There's nothing more important than you! But I've been working on this project for a year now and I couldn't just drop everything... Credence, I'm sorry... "

The trembling in his voice was well known to the younger one: Percival was on the verge of tears. And Credence might have thought it was his own fault, that Percival could only blame himself. But Credence had never been able to bear to hear Percy cry. So rather than remain silent, he asked in an insecure tone:

"Why is Theseus with you? "

"He started working for the company a couple of weeks ago. He was looking for a job so I helped him. "

The silence fell again. Someone else called Percival from afar, and he replied that the speech could start without him before returning to the call.

"Cree? Are you still there?"

The anger had dissipated, giving way to loneliness, sadness and tiredness. Credence took a deep breath, his sobs almost completely calmed. Then he said:

"I wish you'd told me about it rather than find out like that... We're supposed to trust each other, Percy. It's not the kind of news you like to learn like that... I felt like I was nobody again... "

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm such a bastard, I didn't think about it. But it happened so fast, and you'd already taken your tickets and packed your suitcase, and I didn't... I was afraid that if I told you before I went, if I told you that I wouldn't be there for Christmas, you'd ask me to stay and I wouldn't have the strength to go. "

A new, joyless laughter passed from the younger one's lips.

"Oh, so it's my fault... Great, that's perfect! Percival, I've always wanted what's best for you. Of course I would have understood, don't try to make me out to be something I'm not. "

He wasn't stupid, of course he could have understood if the young Grave had taken the time to explain it to him. The trembling in Percival's voice gave way to something else, something that Credence knew too well: panic.

"No!" Percy exclaimed. "No, of course it's not your fault! Don't leave me, please... Please... Please. "

Credence stood up, more worried than anything else now. Had he been too cold? Yes he was angry, yes he felt a little betrayed, but that didn't make him want to be cruel. Percival's breathing was noisy and jerky, as if he was unable to fill his lungs.

"Percy you... " Credence tried 

"I'll make it up to you! " he interrupted him. "I'll make it up to you, I promise! Don't leave me Credence, I beg you! "

He had to calm down, to be able to reason with himself. His breathing was getting wheezier, and he was crying. Credence tried to speak again:

"Percy, you know very well that I... "

"I sea you!" he sobbed. "And I can't live without you! I'll be home in six days, and I promise, I'll stay with you every minute! I beg you, don't leave me, not like this, not until... "

"Percival Graves! I have no intention of leaving you! I didn't wait for you for almost a decade to throw you at our first fight! So calm down! Breathe, please! You're on the other side of the country, I'm not going to be able to join you like at the park last year! I sea you, with all my heart, I'm just pissed off, okay? And you and I have a big communication problem to solve! "

Credence's authoritative but caring tone brought Percival back to reality and he let his anguish subside. His breathing calmed down, the anxiety attack finally turned into sobs that he tried in vain to hide. Credence put a hand over his face, closing his eyes for a moment. He was so often the one who cried, the one who woke up screaming from his nightmares, the one who trembled with fear or apprehension, that he sometimes forgot how fragile Percival could be. Since he had stopped drinking, the older one seemed to face more and more often the reminiscences of his traumas.

"Is Theo with you? " Credence asked.

_I don't want to leave you alone... I can't leave you alone knowing you're in this condition._

"He's... He's inside... I miss you... I miss you so badly. "

Credence tried to swallow the painful ball at the back of his throat. Percival's voice was so broken and desperate. But what a stupid idea to do such a thing to himself! This promotion had better be worth it!

"I miss you too. You better get that promotion, or I swear you're going to hear me! "

There was a silence, as if each of them listened attentively to the other's breathing. Then Percival asked shyly:

"Can we... can we sleep together tonight? "

"It seems slightly compromised to me... "

"I mean, with Skype. I would put my computer on the pillow next to me and you could do the same. Please do the same. "

A smile stretched the younger one's lips. How was he supposed to say no to that kind of request.

"All right, I'll do it. " Credence replied.

Percival tried to say something, but his words died choked by a new wave of tears. Credence was reassured to hear Theseus' worried voice on the other side of the line. Theo must have noticed his absence, and like the best friend he was, had no qualms about leaving the room where the speech took place. Credence took a deep breath so as not to reveal too much about how Percy's sobs made him want to cry, and then he said in a soft and reassuring voice:

"Percy, don't cry, I was just upset that you didn't warn me, but that doesn't change the way I feel about you, okay? I'm here, I'll always be here. "

In the hall, Cora opened the door. She put down a few bags of groceries before stepping into the living room, discovering her son's pale face and red eyes. She gave him a worried look and Credence waved to her that he would explain later. She hesitated, finally nodding before taking the food into the kitchen.

"Yes, I know," Percy wept. "I feel so bad about screwing up again. I promised myself I was going to be better... And I made you angry and I made you cry... I'm doing everything wrong. "

"It wasn't the best decision you've made in the last few months, but that doesn't mean I'm forgetting all the efforts you've made. We'll talk about it later, okay? Cora's home. I sea you. "

"I sea you too! I sea you Credence! " he hastened to say, as if he was afraid the youngest would hang up without hearing that.

"Bye love. "

And with a sad smile, Credence hung up. He sighed slowly, wiping his still wet cheeks. What a homecoming! On his screen, three new messages appeared almost at the same time:

**Nag** : _Tina told me about the other jerk. Give me his address so I can send him a parcel bomb._

**Theo:** _Sorry baby pearl, I thought you knew. I'm keeping an eye on him, don't worry._

**My lovely sunburn** : _I am sorry, I sea you and I miss you terribly. I'll never do that again, I promise._

* * *

On New Year's Eve, Percival arrived at the Scamander house instead of coming to Marlabelle. The party was planned there and Theseus had insisted that Percy help him with the preparations. Credence suspected that Theo was trying to delay their reunion to make it even more "dramatic". In any case, Credence spent the day trying on half his clothes, unable to decide on an outfit.

The twins joined him around mid-afternoon, their arms full of dresses and make-up cases. Queenie finally decided on a long green dress with a bare back and Tina opted for a small, elegant yellow dress. And after deliberation, they suggested to Credence a black turtleneck, grey high waist trousers and a sequined navy blue jacket. Tina tied his hair in a loose bun and Queenie insisted on putting make-up on his eyes.

Then, in the early evening, the three friends left Cora's house to go to the Scamander's house. It took them longer than expected, stuck in traffic, and Credence felt the anxiety rise more and more in his belly. Queenie gave him reassuring smiles through the rear-view mirror and Tina often turned around to ask him questions, to change his thoughts, to make him smile. He was at last going to see Percival again.

When they finally arrived, the house was already overcrowded, and sneaking through the crowd was no easy task. Credence doubted that Theseus or Newt knew even half of the people present. The three friends worked their way through and found Newt and Jacob. The young Scamander kissed Tina for a long time before taking Queenie and Credence in his arms. Jacob was more reserved, content with a quick kiss on his girlfriend's impeccably made-up lips before greeting the other two.

"Ah baby Pearl, always so beautiful! "

Credence turned towards Theseus. He had put on a purple suit for the occasion, which was a perfect fit for him. But that was not what caught his attention. Percival was more beautiful than he had ever been. Shaved close, his hair tucked back, a black three-piece suit. He looked like one of those stars of the 1930s with a rare elegance and inimitable charisma. Credence's heart missed a beat and he felt his throat become dry. Then, after blinking to come to his senses, he replied to Theo:

"I'm just going to say thank you... "

"I mean it! Right Percy? "

Percival blushes slightly, lowering his eyes, clearing his throat before saying in an insecure tone:

"Er, yes, it suits you. "

"Which in Graves' language means: ‘ _I find you incredibly sexy, let's get a room_!’ " Theseus laughed.

It was Credence's turn to blush. He swallowed with difficulty. He must not have been the only one stressed by this reunion, as Percival exclaimed:

"It's unbelievable, you really never shut the fuck up! "

His anger surprised the whole small group. And Theseus sighed before saying:

"Oh, don't get angry Percy, I was joking. "

Percival turned on his heels, walking away to the terrace, his fists clenched. Credence stood still for a moment, watching him move away without knowing how to react. This was not at all how he had imagined his reunion with Percy. He opened and closed his mouth several times, ignoring Queenie who couldn't hold one: " _He's so dramatic._ "

Theseus put his hand on Credence's shoulder to get his attention before he confided to him:

" He missed you, baby pearl. I've heard your name so much in the last few months that I've created a bingo of reasons to bring Credence into a conversation. He's just emotionally retarded. "

"Why is he angry? "

Theseus sighed again, looking up to the sky to show how ridiculous he finds Percival's behavior. Then he replied:

"He's not angry, he's nervous. He's afraid of screwing things up. Go and talk to him, give him a couple of slaps to set his mind straight, kiss each other passionately and it will get better. "

Credence gave him a shy smile before looking towards the terrace. They had to talk, there were too many things left unresolved and the separation hadn't really helped. He hadn't taken three steps when he heard Theo shout:

"And for pity's sake, fuck each other! "

The young man felt himself blushing to the roots of his hair, ignoring as best he could the others questioning looks on his face. _Thank you Theo, always with subtlety_.

The fresh air of the end of the year did him a lot of good, allowing him to release some of the tension in his shoulders. Percival was a little further away in the garden, only a few feet from the Sycamore tree, smoking a cigarette too quickly.

Credence tried to silence the inner voice whispering to him that everything was going to collapse, that everything would happen just like last time. Percy had promised, they had grown up, they had come a long way, it would be different this time. It had to be different this time.

Credence stopped a few steps away from Percival, placing a cigarette between his lips. Percy looked up at him, staring for a moment before approaching to light the nicotine cylinder. His eyes remained on the student's lips, and he swallowed with difficulty. Credence stared at him, releasing the smoke to the side, trying to analyze the tense expression of the older one.

"Is it true? " he asked.

"What? " Percy replied, finally leaving Credence's mouth to look him in the eyes.

"That you find me attractive? "

A dry laugh passed the lips of the elder. He quickly lit a second cigarette, took a deep breath, and answered with a strange smile:

"As if you didn't know it... Half the girls drool in front of you and the other half try to stop their boyfriends from coming on to you. "

Maybe it shouldn't have, but it hurt him deeply to hear Percy talk like that. Theseus was right, he was completely stupid when it came to showing and saying his feelings. Credence took the blow, clenching his jaw. Why couldn't he just tell him that he liked him? He had been writing this in his messages and poems for months! What was so hard about saying it out loud?

"So I went completely from pure and fragile, to slute," Credence raved. "It's incredible how infinitely gifted you are at writing, but how pathetic you are when you speak. "

Percival moved back slightly, visibly surprised by the anger of the younger one.

"Ouch. " the young Graves said.

Credence clenched his teeth a little more to prevent himself from slapping him. What was he playing at? Was his purpose really to drive him mad? Tears came to his eyes.

"Seriously Percy? " he shouted. "Don't you have anything else to tell me? God, I'm such an idiot! " _I sea you_ " my ass! You're still the same asshole! "

He extinguished his half-burnt cigarette, turned his heels. Why did Graves always have to fuck everything up? Couldn't he have just told him that he was handsome and that he missed him like any other civilized person? Why did it always have to be complicated? Damn, that sycamore tree was really jinxed!

Percy held him by the arm, bringing him back against him in a clumsy gesture.

"No, Credence, wait! Excuse me! "

Credence unravels, pushing hard on his shoulders before pounding on his torso so that Percival releases him. _Idiot! Selfish moron!_ Percy tightened his embrace, preventing the younger one from leaving or continuing to struggle.

"I'm sorry... You're right, I'm pathetic, and I'm an asshole... Sorry... "

And the tears waiting for the right moment to escape rolled down Credence's cheeks.

"Oh no, don't cry, I'm sorry... "

"I hate you, why do you always act like an bastard? "

Percy kissed his temple, his forehead, on the verge of breaking into tears too. Credence was furious. Furious to realize how tactless Percival could be, how easy it was for him to hurt him, how weak Credence was when he held him so tightly in his arms.

"I'm sorry..." Percy murmured. "I beg your pardon... I'm too stupid. "

 _No kidding..._ thought Credence. He laughed without joy before answering:

"It's funny because even with all this, even with all those times you behave with me as if I'm worthless, I still can't get over you. Oh God, it's so ridiculous! "

Percival stepped aside to take his face in his hands, waiting for Credence to agree to cross his gaze. He took a deep breath, blinking several times to chase the tears from his eyes.

"The truth is... "Percival said. "The truth is that I'm afraid to let you get close to me, to let you really get close to me. Because I'll never be able to let you go again. But I don't want you to leave either. I'm afraid to be with you, but I can't live without you..."

It was ridiculous! And it didn't make any sense! Didn't they promise to find each other? To rebuild each other? Credence detached himself from him, moving away enough to be able to calm down, to find normal breathing again. Queenie's make-up was completely ruined and he must have looked like a teenage girl in need of love. He felt like the hero of a never-ending melodrama. 

"And what am I supposed to do? " he asked. "Tell me Percy? Is it always going to be like this? Wonderful one day and painful the next? "

"No... " the other murmured.

Percival sounded panicked; his voice filled with the same fear that had inhabited him a few days earlier. _Promises, more promises..._ thought Credence. He clenched his fists, raising his chin to give himself some composure before saying :

"Prove it! "

The older one approached him so quickly that Credence moved backwards slightly. In one breath, Percy's lips were against his own. He had one hand on the back of his neck, holding him so he could deepen the kiss. His other arm wrapped around his waist.

In a tender gesture, Percival drew him towards the trunk of the sycamore tree, where no one could see them. Credence's heart was beating so hard that he was afraid he would see it escape between his ribs. His breath was hieratic, and he was so short of air that his head was spinning. Or perhaps it was Percival's lips and hands that did this to him. In any case, he would have given his life so that this moment would never end.

Percy pressed him suddenly against the tree, and Credence let a moan escape against his lips as he felt their whole bodies align, so close that he could feel the warmth of Percival's skin through their clothes. But Percy suddenly moved away with his eyes closed. His breathing was chaotic, and Credence was terribly hot, despite the cold December wind. Percy kept his eyelids closed, frowning, in the midst of an inner debate that Credence found confusing.

The younger one put his hand on his cheek and Percy leaned into the contact, his lips touching his palm several times without ever kissing it.

"Percy? " Credence murmured.

The young Graves opened his eyes, his irises shining with a new glow. He stared at Credence for a moment, his hands leaving his back and his hair to frame the pale face. He placed his forehead against his own.

"I'm... I'm terrified... I feel like a monster for daring to think of you like that... "

"How? " Credence asked.

Percival buried his face in his neck, wrapping him in a softer embrace than the previous one. Credence closed his arms around him, giving him the time he needed.

"As if you belonged to me, as if you were the center of my world, as if I would no longer exist without you... "

Credence closed his eyes. _I have been yours for so long..._

"I'm in love with you! " the youngest said.

"I know. "

"I have loved you for 8 years and I think I will continue to do so for the next 8 years."

"You can't promise that..." Percy murmured, tightening his grip around his waist, as if he was afraid that Credence would disappear.

The student stroked his back, making delicate circles between his shoulder blades to soothe Percival. 

"I can. I can, and I am doing it, Percival Graves. And if I wanted to promise you that, would you be less afraid to give me a chance? To give us a real chance? "

Percy stood up, his eyes filled with emotion and feeling looked at Credence attentively. His index finger slowly traced the outline of the youngest boy's jaw, touching his lips, caressing his cheeks, his cheekbones, the pattern of his eyebrows. Credence closed his eyes, savoring the tenderness of the moment. Time seemed to have frozen around them. He felt Percival bending over, stopping a few inches from his lips, his breath caressing his skin. And without being able to help himself, Credence whispered

"I love you... "

Percy's kiss made a multitude of butterflies fly into his belly. It was much more passionate, much more eager and desperate than the other kisses they had exchanged, but it made him feel like he was living again. He felt like Percival's hands were all over him. When they ran out of air, Percy stepped aside to come and lay a series of kisses on his neck, pressing his body a little more against Credence's. The younger one tilted his head back against the tree trunk, leaving more access to his skin. He was going mad, his mind fogged by Percival's desire, envy and smell.

The young Graves straightened up, dipping his black eyes into those of Credence before saying, breathlessly :

"I love you, I love you, Credence! I love you so much that I don’t know how to say it, how to show it, how to make you feel it. "

Credence had the impression that he was flying away, that an enormous weight had just been lifted from his shoulders. Tears of joy came at the edge of his eyes as a smile appeared on his lips. He had waited so long for these words, had heard them so often in his dreams. Percival loved him. He loved him! He ran his hands through young Graves' hair, drawing him back against him, whispering against his lips :

"Say it again... "

Percy's hands went down the length of his body, stopping on his hips, his fingers clinging to them as he leaned a little more against him. He placed a short kiss on his voluptuous lips before whispering in his ear:

"I love you. "

And it was so sincere, so strong, so everything that Credence had hoped for that he did not hesitate to ask :

"Again... "

He was agonizingly hot, and there was nothing around them anymore. Just the intoxicating pressure of Percival against him, his smell, his burning breath. He had a hiccup of surprise which soon turned into a moan when Percy lifted him up so that Credence could wrap his legs around his waist. He was losing his mind, and he was afraid he might spontaneously combust if Percival continued to mark his neck as he had been doing for a few seconds.

"I love you, I love you... " Percy whispered against his skin.

Credence couldn't think of anything anymore, and he was certain that if Percival decided to undress him there, right now, he wouldn't be able to resist. But obviously fate had decided otherwise, since Tina's shocked voice put an end to this moment of pure passion.

"Oh my God, my eyes are burning! " she cried.

They turned towards her, like two children caught red-handed. Credence blushed violently, waiting for Percival to step aside and put him back on the ground. But the older one did not move an inch, more upset by his sister's intervention than embarrassed by their position. 

"Could you just put him back on the floor and let go of his ass while I ask my question?" sighed Tina.

"Always a good sense of timing, Tina... " Percy was exasperated.

But he complied before wrapping an arm around Credence's waist, convinced that if he let go of it, the younger one would collapse. And he was probably right, judging by Credence's wobbly knees. Tina cleared her throat to regain her self-confidence before asking with a big smile:

"Queenie would like to know if you would like to join us for karaoke? "

Credence was certain that if Percival's eyes could kill, Tina would have been reduced to ashes.

"Is that your question? " he asked sharply.

"Yes... " she confessed.

Percival closed his eyes, pinching the bone of his nose to try to keep his temper. Credence laughed before replying to Tina:

"I think we'll pass this time."

She turned her heels, as if she was running away from what she had seen, simply saying:

"Ok, I'll tell Queenie we'll do without you ! There are rooms upstairs, so you won't be interrupted again! "

Before she trotted back to the house. Credence turned towards Percy, a happy smile on his face. And before he could say anything, Percy lifted him up and put him on his shoulder, as if he weighed nothing, before leaving in the direction of the large mansion. Credence burst out laughing, not even trying to struggle as he asked:

"Percy, what are you doing? "

"I'm going to make up for lost time and make up for all my mistakes! "

And Credence was so happy and so in love that he didn't notice the strange looks the guests gave them as Percy led him upstairs. When Credence's feet were on the floor again, the two men were in a room that must have been half the size of the young artist's flat. But he did not have time to observe the place, because after locking the door, Percival pushed him against the wall. They kissed again, trying to undress each other, their hands trembling.

When Percy had taken off his top completely, he lifted Credence again, who passed his legs around his hips as Percival led him to the bed. He gently laid him down, before he pulled back far enough to remove the black turtleneck from the younger one. Credence's belly contracted violently, suddenly realizing that Percival was looking at him with such deep adoration and fascination that he felt beautiful for the very first time in his life.

"You are so beautiful... so perfect..." Percy murmured.

Credence drew the young Graves towards him, kissing him passionately, trying to bring all his love into the exchange. And there, in the warmth of the moonlit room, Credence gave himself up entirely to Percival. They embraced, kissed, gave themselves to each other, made love for the first time. It was hot, passionate, intoxicating and overwhelming. It was them. Credence felt alive again, he was loved, he was complete.

He was no longer that fearful creature, that little boy disgusted with his wounds, his feelings and his skinny body. Percival almost devoutly embraced each of his scars, closing with his lips the remaining open wounds in the youngest boy's soul.

A tear rolled down his cheek, and Percy wiped it away, whispering a litany of " _I love you_ ," leaving Credence clinging feverishly to him, his fingernails digging into the skin of his back. Tonight, nothing else mattered. Credence didn't care that things had been so complicated, that Percival had doubted so much, that they had argued, that he had waited for him for almost a decade. What really mattered, in this embrace and in those to come, was the special way he had of whimpering his first name, of whispering his " _I love you_ ". What was important was his hands in his hair, his smell, his face, his skin, his softness, his ardor, his feelings, his head tilted backwards when ecstasy came and the feeling of fullness that came over him when he joined him.

_Tonight they were eternity... Tonight they were infinite._

* * *

It was the sun on his skin that made Credence open his eyes. He wrinkled his eyelids, slightly blinded before opening his eyes completely. Then he turned his head to discover Percival's sleeping face. Their legs were intertwined, and Percy had one arm firmly wrapped around his waist, as if he was afraid that Credence would run away while he slept. A smile lit up the younger one's face and he came a little closer to the other, laying a tender kiss on his lips.

Percy uttered a drowsy little sound before bringing Credence back against him, burying his face in his neck. Credence chuckled before running a hand through his hair, patiently waiting for Percival to wake up.

After a few minutes, Percy moved away from him, blinking several times before a happy smile appeared on his face. 

"Good morning. " he murmured.

"Good morning," Credence answered in the same tone.

Percy looked at him for a long time before a laugh passed his lips.

"Why are you laughing? "

"Because I am happy. "

"Too bad it took you so long... Mr. Rotten!" Credence teased.

" Shut up!" Percy giggled.

He stood up on his elbows, his face above the youngest one. He moved the black locks off his forehead, gazing adoringly at Credence. Then he bent down to place a loving kiss on his lips. Credence sighed at ease, passing his arms around his neck to bring him close to him, deepening the kiss. They parted when they ran out of air, and Percy placed his forehead against his own, still leaning on his forearms so as not to weigh on Credence's body.

"I love you... I sea you forever... " he said.

"Forever? " Credence repeated

"As long as you want me... "

"Forever, then. "

Percival captured his lips again before kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his neck. Then he lay down beside him. He was still smiling, but there was something sad in his eyes that worried Credence. He frowned, turning to his side to face Percy.

"What is it? " he asked.

The older one waved to him that it was nothing, but as Credence looked insistently at him, he sighed before confessing:

"I can't believe it... I can't believe you're mine... I don't deserve you... You shouldn't... "

Credence put his hand over his mouth, choking the end of his sentence. Percy gave him a surprised look. The younger one wasn't really angry, but he categorically refused to let Percival's questions and lack of self-confidence tarnish this wonderful morning.

"No, Percy!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to hear anything negative today! I just had the best night of my life, I made love for the first time, and with the man I love. So you're perfect, I'm perfect, everything is perfect! "

He felt the young Graves smiling against his palm, and as soon as the joyful glow returned to his eyes, Credence pulled his fingers away. Percy raised an eyebrow before jokingly saying:

"Am I perfect? "

"No, you're right, you're old. "

Credence's mischievous look made the older man laugh.

"You little prick! "

He straightened up, placing himself entirely above Credence, before lowering his hands to his belly, where he was the most ticklish. The laughter of the youngest invaded the room as he struggled to escape from Percival. He had tears in his eyes as he laughed so much, his ribs hurting, his breath running short. But it was so comforting, so true and tender that he ignored his painful belly as long as he could.

"No, stop, stop!" Credence finally said.

Percy grabbed his wrists before pressing them against the mattress on either side of his head. Credence froze. Heat warmed his lower abdomen, moving up his body, and his smile disappeared to make way for something else. An expression halfway between embarrassment and desire. Percival was beautiful with his messy hair, his red cheeks and his eyes glowing. Credence moistened his lips, moving to open his legs. He savored Percival's dull moaning as he closed his eyes while the younger one crossed his ankles behind his back to press against him.

There was a form of redemption in being naked against each other, their skins touching, caressing, losing themselves in sensations. It was more tender than the previous night, calmer, more soothed, but just as strong and overwhelming. Percy was delicate, caring, attentive to Credence's pleasure. He listened to each of his whimpers, each of his cries with attention, kissing his tears, watching his expressions as he surrendered to pleasure.

It was almost addictive, and Percival was convinced that he would be unable to live without him after that. There was a rather primal excitement in knowing that he had never belonged to anyone else before and that now he was his. There, against Credence's white skin, intoxicated by his warmth, lulled by his love, Percy thought to himself that nothing would ever be the same again. Never again would he hurt him, never again would he let him go, never again would he live without Credence. Without Credence, there would be no Percival.

When they came back from their climax, they stood against each other, listening to each other's breathing until they were calm. Then they kissed each other for a long time before getting up to take a shower. They played for a while underwater like children before Percy took Credence in his arms, resting his cheek on the top of his head, caressing his back with his fingertips. Credence closed his eyes, repeatedly kissing Percy's neck. He felt so light, so happy.

Then they left the shower and went back to the room. Percy rummaged through one of the cupboards, obviously familiar with the room. He took out a shirt and handed it to Credence before taking one for himself. Credence put on the top before putting on his trousers from the day before, tucking the shirt in at the waist. When he looked up, he blushed slightly as he discovered Percy's shiny irises on him.

"What? " he asked.

"Fuck, this isn't your shirt, it's not even the right size, and you still look like a fashion print! It's not fair! "

"You can talk! " Credence laughed, pointing at him with a wave of his hand.

"Yes I can! Because you're just fucking perfect! "

Credence laughed again, shaking his head. There was no point in contradicting Percy on this, otherwise he wouldn't stop complimenting him for the rest of the day. Percival finished dressing before taking Credence's hand and dragging him to the kitchen on the ground floor. It must have been late as Theseus and Tina were finishing tidying up and cleaning up the remains of the party. Theo saw them as soon as they entered the room, and a huge smile came over his face.

"Happy New Year, marmots! " he said.

"Happy New Year!" Credence replied.

And of course, Theseus could not refrain from asking:

"So the bed was " _comfortable_ "? "

Credence blushed, lowering his head to hide his discomfort. Tina put a kiss on his cheek as she walked by him before waving to them to sit down.

"Shut up, Theo. " Percy sighed, with a little smirk on his face.

The new couple sat around the worktop as Tina gave each of them a plate of pancakes. What time had she got up to prepare that in addition to cleaning? Perhaps the question was: _what time was it really so that Tina had time to do all that ?_

Queenie came running into the kitchen with a radiant smile on her face. She suddenly took Credence in her arms, hugged him tightly in a quick embrace before stealing a pancake from him and leaving, as she had come, in the direction of the garden, shouting: " _I love you, Happy New Year!_ ». Credence remained stunned for a few seconds, coming to his senses when he felt Percy entwining their hands. Theseus poured himself a cup of coffee, looking at them mischievously. Then he approached, leaning against the worktop in front of them, sipping his hot drink as he watched Credence. Then after a long time (too long and very embarrassing), he said :

"Baby pearl you have something on your neck. Right there. "

Before pointing at his own entire neck. Credence was flushed scarlet. Fortunately, Tina came to his rescue, and after hitting Theo on the back of the head, she forced him to shut up. He massaged his skull, grumbling that he wasn't lying and that Percy was a fucking vampire, before falling down on the chair next to his best friend, drinking his coffee and pouting. Tina also poured herself a cup of coffee, leaning against the sink, giving a heavy look to her brother.

"What?" Percy asked.

She narrowed her eyes, looking suspiciously, drinking her coffee as if she was part of a criminal group or the mafia.

"What's that look, Tina?" Percival sighed.

"I've got my eye on you Percival Graves, I've always got my eye on you. " she said with a vague Sicilian accent.

Credence almost choked on the food, before he and his best friend burst out laughing. It was a nervous laugh, the kind you've held back too long, the kind you let go when the worst is behind you. And it was incredibly enjoyable. Percival glanced at him falsely outraged and Credence put a quick kiss on his temple, caressing the nape of his neck with his fingertips. Queenie, Jacob and Newt joined the group a few minutes later, all of them gazing tenderly at Percy and Credence.

This new year could not have started any better.

* * *

They had spent the day all together, slumped in the living room, eating chips and candies, alternating between board games and films. They had laughed a lot, happy to be together again. Credence had spent most of his time sitting on the floor, his head resting against Percy's knee, sitting on the couch, savoring the fingers playing with his hair. He was more relaxed than he had ever been, and their group of friends seemed reassured to see them together at last.

After losing again at the Uno against Percival, Theseus exclaimed: 

"Ah, I'm going to miss you, little Percy! "

"Why? Where are you going Theo?" Credence wondered.

All eyes turned to Percival in the same movement and Credence felt his heart miss a beat. He swallowed with difficulty, straightening himself up, unable to turn to Percy, while Theo replied:

"Me? I'm not going anywhere... "

"Theseus, damn it!" Percy raved.

No, he must have misunderstood, Percy wasn't going to leave. He couldn't leave! He had promised! Not after all this, not after all they'd been through! And leave to go where? With whom? To do what? Inhaling deeply to keep his calm, Credence turned in a slow gesture, raising his eyes shining with tears and apprehension towards Percival.

"Are you... Are you leaving? "

Percy gave Theo another murderous look before clearing his throat, his gaze fixed on the floor as he replied:

"I've been transferred, and I'm going to have to move out next week... "

Credence felt panic rising inside him, and perhaps it was the overflow of emotion or tiredness, but burning tears began to roll down his cheeks. He stood up, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to control the shaking of his body. He knew he was pathetic, but he didn't know how to relax.

"Oh, babe... Theseus, you're such a piece of shit! " Percival said, furious at the state he had put Credence in.

Theo lowered his head, acknowledging in a sorry pout that he'd better shut up.

"But... But where?" Credence sobbed. "Why didn't you tell me? Why are you leaving? I don't want you to go... I don't want you to go. "

Percy put his hands on his hips, visibly saddened by the tears of the youngest.

"Oh, my love, don't cry! It was supposed to be a surprise... "

The breath of Credence remained stuck in his throat. What was Percy talking about? He frowned, not sure he understood the situation.

"A surprise? " he repeated.

Percival pulled on his shirt to force him to come and sit on his lap. He framed the youngest's face, wiped his tears with his thumbs. He put a kiss on each of his cheeks before announcing with a smile :

"I'm moving to New York. That's what the promotion was for. "

The sentence was repeated over and over in Credence's mind. His breathing quickened, his hands trembled even more, and his heart pounded so hard that it almost hurt him.

"You... You've been working for a year on a project to come to New York? " he asked.

So before April... Before even knowing if Credence was going to forgive him... Just after the last Christmas holidays. Percy's smile widened further.

"Yes," he replied.

Credence couldn't believe it, he couldn't bring himself to think that Percival was going to join him in New York. This move meant no more distance, it meant being able to see him whenever he wanted, eat with him, laugh and cry with him, maybe even live with him if Percy offered it to him. Credence stared at the older one for a long time, terrified that his hope would be reduced to dust.

"Is that why you wanted the promotion so badly? You wanted the promotion to... to move to New York? "

It sounded completely unrealistic and far too wonderful to be true. But Percy laughed softly, amused by Credence's stunned reaction.

"To be with you, yes, my love." he smiled.

Credence uttered a nervous and undistinguished noise that his hand placed on his lips could not hide.

He turned his eyes away from Percival, ashamed that his nerves were failing him, before being overwhelmed by the emotion he had felt at the news. He missed air, and was shaken with uncontrollable sobs. Tina got up immediately to fetch him a glass of water while the rest of the group remained silent. Credence pressed his hand against his chest, cursing his body for reacting like that when he was feeling so happy. It was nervous, he knew it, but he still felt ridiculous. He apologized with difficulty for his attitude, anxious that Percy would find him laughable or misunderstand his reaction and decide to change his mind. Tears did not dry up and his breath was still painful.

"Oh, no! My love, I'm sorry. " Percy murmured before hugging him gently.

He let the young Graves cradle him, inhaling deeply as best he could to try to become master of himself again. Percy placed kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, his hands, apologizing several times. Finally, a radiant smile took its place on the youngest's face through his tears.

"You wanted to come to New-York for me. You love me… You love me Percy. "

"Yes, angel! I do love you Credence. So truly "

And they kissed, Percival's lips gradually calming Credence's nervous sobs. After a moment, all that remained of his attack was a slight nervous jerk in his chest. When he was calmed down, Tina gave him the glass of water, and he thanked her with a sorry smile before drinking.

"Theo, you really are the worst!" Newt sighed.

"Oh go ahead, accuse me! What I see is that Credence has never been happier in his life and he's sitting on my best friend's lap! By the way, the room is still in the same place, it hasn't moved since this morning my darlings. And I'm not sure my mother's sofa is very comfortable to get you laid. "

"Theo, for God's sake!" Percival exclaimed.

"What? Stop being prudish, we've been waiting for you to sleep together for at least 3 years. Tina you owe me fifty bucks by the way. "

Credence turned so quickly to his best friend that he was afraid of breaking his neck. Tina blushed violently with anger. 

"Theo, shut up! " she said.

Theseus received a slap in the back of the head for the second time that day, but this time from his brother. Queenie had a small laugh, containing badly her amusement at the situation. Credence stared at the twins for a moment before daring to ask:

"Did you bet? Did you bet on us? "

Tina bit her lower lip, a sorry expression on her face. Then she replied in a tiny voice:

"I'd bet you'd wait until you got to New York, Theseus said it would take you less than two hours to get to the room…"

" And you have not disappointed me! " the other one exclaimed. "In less than an hour you were in the guest room! Bad choice Tina."

Tina got up and threw herself at Theseus, pinning him down on the pillow-covered floor, vowing to suffocate him if he continued to open his mouth. Newt was forced to intervene, not without some amusement to see his girlfriend reacting like that. Queenie and Jacob mocked the scene silently, happy to have refused the bet. Credence was not really offended; he had no reason to be. Their friends had been forced to endure the waves of his relationship with Percy for years, and they had done so with great patience and kindness..

Percival put his hand under his jaw, turning Credence's face towards him before laying a long kiss on his mouth. Then he rested his forehead against his own before singing in a deep voice:

" _J’ai attrapé un coup de soleil… Un coup d’amour, un coup de je t’aime._ "

Credence smiled, a slight shiver rising up his spine.

"This song will definitely be at your wedding! " Queenie cried out, almost making them jump.

"Oh no, I've heard it enough!" Theseus exclaimed, straightening himself up, pushing Tina, who was trying to pull his hair, away with one hand.

"Theo! " Newt sighed, raising his eyes to the sky.

He turned to his brother before saying in a loud voice:

"What? You're not the one who's been living with him for two and a half years! Whole nights listening to this song over and over again, while he was drunk to death, crying after Credence! "

Percival blushed violently before giving his best friend a dark look. Theseus had just sold him without any shame. This revelation warmed Credence's heart a little more. His love confession had mattered, it hadn't been a mistake, and it had definitely had an impact on Percy's life (and by extension Theo's life.)

"Theo, shut up! " Percival said, redder than ever.

"What, it's not true? ‘ _He did this for me Theo! I won't exist for anyone else, Theo! He's the love of my life, I'm going to die Theo!_ ‘ "

He imitated Percival wonderfully. A frank laugh passed Credence's lips. Yes, he was happy, happier than he could ever have imagined.

"OK, we've got it, shut the fuck up Theseus!" Percy sighed.

"Percy, you're pathetic. " Queenie laughed.

Credence wrapped his arms around Percival's neck, bringing him a little closer to him before saying in a falsely bossy tone:

"Leave him alone, the poor dear! "

Percy took advantage of this, tightening his grip around his waist before burying his face against his shoulder and complaining:

"Oh, baby, they're mean to me... "

Suddenly, a cushion flew away before landing with full force in Percival's back. Everyone turned towards Tina. She had a look of defiance on her face. Percy straightened up, pushing Credence away fast enough so that the younger one didn't get the second cushion. 

"En garde Percival the coward! You can't hide forever in the arms of your sweetheart!"

"You're going to pay for that Tina!" Percival exclaimed, getting up, trying to hide his amused smile.

"Come if you dare! " she provoked him before picking up another cushion.

"Geronimo! " Queenie cried, picking up the nearest cushion before throwing herself on her brother's back.

Jacob flew to her rescue as Tina ran through the house, pursued by a Newt armed with a huge pillow. Credence burst out laughing, unable to hold back his hilarity. Theseus suddenly turned to him. Credence knew this expression; it was the one that predicted one of his misdeeds. He stood up, trying to flee as Tina and Newt rushed back into the living room, their arms even more laden with pillows and cushions. It was messy, cataclysmic and frankly childish, but it was spontaneous and full of life. 

"Diversion! " Theo shouted. "Let's attack the treasure! Catch the Pearl! "

And without Credence being able to do anything about it, Theseus grabbed him by the waist before putting him on his shoulder and running off in the direction of the kitchen. Poor Percival tried in vain to escape from Queenie and Jacob, and Tina threw herself on him too, laughing out loud.

The laughter echoed throughout the house, like thousands of stardusts forever imprinting their memories. Theseus placed Credence on a chair, laying a loud kiss on his cheek before saying :

"I told you it would take time because maybe that's how it was meant to be. And I was right! Be happy baby pearl, you deserve it. "

Credence smiled sincerely at him before hugging him. He owed him a lot, probably much more than Theo would ever admit. Credence thanked him, assuring him again that there was only one Theseus in the universe. The eldest of the Scamander giggled and stepped aside. And before leaving for the living room, he winked at him and shouted:

"Captain Newt, come and protect the booty! "

"Aye aye, sir!" his brother replied, running in. "Wait, if I'm the captain, what are you?"

"Poseidon, god of the sea!" Theseus sighed, as if it was obvious.

Yes, this year would be wonderful. And certainly, the first of a long and fabulous series. Life could be full of unexpected happiness, of true friendship and profound love. Life could be simple, as easy as the warmth of the sun on your skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was okay ^^ Only one chapter left ^^


	8. Chapter 8

_ Epilogue _

Credence sighed again, looking distractedly at the email the art gallery had sent him for his internship starting in September. He ran a hand through his hair before looking upstairs again. From here he could hear Percival running around.

"Baby, I can't find my towel!" the eldest shouted from his room.

"It's in the beach bag that's been in the hall with me for twenty minutes. " Credence answered.

He wasn't really annoyed, rather amused by the childish behavior that Percival adopted every time they came back to spend a few days at Marlabelle's house.

It had already been more than a year since he and Percival had been living together. His 21st birthday had been celebrated in their new flat and he had been allowed to buy the alcohol himself for the party. When Credence had discussed the matter with Nagini, she had told him in all subtlety that she was happy for him and especially for her, since the move meant that she was finally going to sleep without hearing their interminable frolics. Needless to say, Credence had been redder than a tomato.

So Credence had moved in with Percy, happy to see how well they worked together. They were able to give each other enough space not to suffocate each other while still being there for each other. Credence had a room entirely devoted to his painting and Percy would often look at him in admiration from the door, smiling at the concentrated face of the younger one. Percival's work was very demanding, but he always made it a point of honor to be home by nine o'clock at the latest so that he could have dinner with Credence.

They had talked a long time about the past during the first months of their life together. Credence had almost no more nightmares, but when he woke up trembling, Percy always knew how to behave, how to reassure him, carefully caressing the skin marked by indelible wounds. And when it was Percival's sleep that was agitated, Credence was happy to see that his reflex was to come and snuggle up against him, burying his face in his hair.

They were happy, peaceful, complete, in love. A smile stretched Credence's lips as he lost himself in his memories, and Percival's voice from the bedroom brought him back to the present.

"Credence, have you seen my phone? "

"In the bag, Percy! "

"Ok, I love you! "

Credence looked up at the sky. He had told him at least three times that he had put his phone in the beach bag.

"Credence, I love you!" the other one repeated, visibly annoyed that he hadn't had an answer.

"Yes, me too! "

A small satisfied laugh was heard upstairs. Marlabelle entered at the same time, greeting Credence with a caress on the cheek before walking away into the living room. The announcement of his couple with Percival had been very well received (not to say acclaimed). Cora had made an endless list of recommendations to Percival, saying repeatedly that she knew where he lived and that she would not hesitate to come and shake him if he did not make her son happy. Marlabelle had simply kissed Credence on the forehead and smiled emotionally at him.

Credence glanced at his phone to check the time. They were already an hour and a half late, mostly because he had been unable to fend off Percival's advances in the shower. He blushed at the thought. He cleared his throat to regain some composure, before shouting:

"Percival, stop running around and get down, the others are waiting for us! "

"But I'm looking for something! "

Marlabelle went back into the hall, giggling at the exchange between the two young men. 

"What are you looking for?" Credence exasperated.

"His camera. " Marlabelle murmured, with a mocking smile and a wink.

"My camera!" Percy replied from his room.

Marlabelle and Credence exchanged an amused laugh. Mrs. Goldstein knew her son perfectly. After another sigh, the young artist followed the mother of the twins into the kitchen. Apparently, Percival was not decided to go downstairs. Marlabelle heated the coffee pot before serving two mugs. She added two sugars and a little milk to Credence's, as she had become accustomed to doing in the past few years. She sat on one of the chairs while Credence leaned against the sink.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? " he suggested again.

"No, I'd rather you guys stay among young people! And besides, your mother is coming for tea this afternoon. "

The young man nodded, bringing his cup to his lips, looking out of the window at the sun that lit up the garden. It was Mrs. Goldstein who interrupted the silence.

"I wanted... I wanted to say thank you, Credence. "

"Why? " he wondered, raising an eyebrow.

She lifted her lovely face to look him in the eyes. She seemed moved, and it touched the student truly. Marlabelle had always been adorable with him and today was no exception to the rule.

"For everything, " she said. "For being a great friend to the twins, for giving Cora back her smile, and for Percy... You've always been important to him, you've always taken care of him, and you've loved him, unconditionally. Even if sometimes he would have deserved a slap or two. "

A small amused laugh passed Credence's lips. He approached her, sitting on the chair next to her. He thought for a moment about what he was going to say before he answered:

"It's him, Marlabelle. It always has been, and it always will be. And very sincerely, it's mostly the girls who have put up with me rather than the other way around, and Cora has always been wonderful. And you too, I hope you know that. "

Marlabelle swallows with difficulty before her eyes mist up with tears. The anguish accelerated Credence's heart. He really didn't want to upset her. He put down his cup so he could take one of her hands in his own.

"Oh no, don't cry! I didn't want to make you cry. "

She waved her hand vaguely to tell him it was nothing, wiping the corner of her eyes before taking a deep breath. Then she replied:

"It's just, I'm so happy, my darling. And I'm getting old too, that's why I'm crying over nothing. "

Credence took her in his arms, and he made no comment when he felt her sobbing against his shoulder. She was a perfect mother for Percival and the twins, an incredible friend for Cora and a tender and generous motherly reference for Credence. It was thanks to her that Percy had been able to flee from horrible parents whose psychological violence still made Percival tremble at times. She had protected him, raised him, loved him with all her heart.

"Mabelle, what's going on? "

Percival's worried voice interrupted this moment of comfort. Credence stood up and Marlabelle hastened to wipe her cheeks to hide her tears. Percy frowned, his eyes shuttling back and forth between his boyfriend and his mother.

"Nothing, it's the onions... " Marlabelle lied.

Percival raised his eyebrows, not at all convinced.

"The onions in your coffee? " he asked.

She laughed, shaking her head, amused. And Credence let a sincere smile return to his lips. Of course Percy wouldn't be persuaded by that kind of sentence.

"Oh come here!" she laughed, opening her arms wide as she stood up.

Percival quickly approached, taking her against him, letting himself be rocked by her embrace. It was touching to see, and Credence's smile widened further. It was everything he had always wanted for Percy and for himself: a family, to be in love, happy, free.

"You take care of him, Percy. " Marlabelle said in an authoritative tone

"Mabelle, please. " Percival sighed

She moved away from him, raising her index finger, frowning in a reproving expression.

"No foolishness this time. " She prevailed.

The young Graves blushed suddenly, turning quickly towards Credence, seemingly calling out for help. But the student remained silent, finishing his coffee rapidly with a smirk on his face. Percival rushed to Credence, taking his cup from his hands before interlacing their fingers and dragging him to the front door.

"Ok, let's go Credence! "

But before they could get out, Marlabelle said, in a worried voice:

"Oh, and Percy, your mother sent me an email, she wants to... "

" _You_ are my mother. " Percy interrupted her

This statement brought a smile back to her face and Marlabelle soon abandoned her false attempt to resonate Percival. She seemed moved and new tears of joy formed at the corner of her eyes. Percy put the beach bag on his shoulder and walked towards Marlabelle. He kissed her on the cheek with a loud sound before saying:

"If this woman wants to contact me, she has my address. I love you Mabelle. "

Then he left the house to get to the car. Credence also put a kiss on one of the cheeks of the mother of the twins before smiling:

"I'm watching him. See you tonight, Marlabelle. "

"See you tonight my darling. "

Credence trotted to the car, light-hearted. Percival waited until he was settled and that his eyes fell on him to put his Ray-Ban in a movement much too elaborate which made Credence laugh. He put a quick kiss on his lips before starting the car. As usual, the younger one turned on the radio and they happened to hear a Britney Spears song: "Hit Baby One more time. "

"Oh my God!" Percy exclaimed before turning up the volume.

Credence expected a lot from Percival, but certainly not that he would sing Britney Spears with all the lyrics. He put his heart into it, moving in rhythm, playing with his eyebrows, doing too many vocal effects on the "baby", often leaning over to Credence as if the song was addressed to him, using his fist as a microphone.

The youngest couldn't stop laughing, feeling butterflies flying in his belly, his heart filled with a joy that only Percy could offer him. At the end of the song, Percival turned down the volume and Credence could not help but remark on this unexpected performance:

"Oh my, you know all the lyrics! "

"Of course!" Percy replied with a big smile. " I had a crush on her when I was a kid. Who was your first crush? "

"You. "

The answer had come out as a matter of course. And it was the truth, Credence had fallen into Percival's trap at the age of eleven, and since then he had done nothing but struggle until the older one recognized his feelings. The young Graves suddenly turned to him, expecting the artist to tell him he was joking. But Credence held his gaze, blushing slightly. There had been no one before Percy and there would never be anyone else.

"Ok, I really have to shout something now!" Percy said, a huge smile on his lips. "The town needs to know! The world needs to know! "

He opened the window before he started to shout:

"I'm in love with Credence Lovegood! He's the love of my life! "

Credence became redder than a tomato, feeling his face burn as passers-by gave them surprised glances.

"Percy, stop ! "

"Wait, I don't think the old folks over there heard me right. "

The discomfort gave way to amusement and he exploded again with laughter as Percival was shouting:

"I'm madly in love! "

Credence had the impression of being on a cloud. That's what living with Percival was all about, flying higher and higher without ever having that fear in your stomach of falling back down. Well, "never" was perhaps a big word, because the student's anxieties sometimes rose to remind him that his happiness was not a guarantee and that Percy might leave him at any moment. But this fear was shared, the young Graves was just as terrified of losing Credence, and that made this uncontrollable fear much easier to control. After a new confession of love, Percival closed the window and turned to the younger one. Credence took one of his hands and brought it to his lips, putting a deep kiss on it before saying :

"I love you. Truly. "

* * *

Sitting on his floral towel, Credence was finishing his chapter of Dickens' " _Great Expectations_ ". This was the third time he had read the book, but for him the plot never lost its liveliness.

He had given up putting on his swimsuit, preferring to keep his shorts and T-shirt on to minimize the risk of sunburn. His feet were stuck in the sand, he was relaxed and happy with the way the afternoon turned out. He put a lock behind his ear, savoring the sun on his pale skin, ignoring Nagini and Theo who were still arguing about the rules of beach volleyball.

Nagini had finally agreed to come and spend the summer holidays with them, sympathizing rapidly with Theseus. This teasing complicity had at first surprised Credence, but he had finally got used to it. After all, the two were not so different. No, in fact they had nothing in common, but Credence couldn't help but find some meaning in this new friendship.

"Credence, come on! " Tina suddenly called him.

He looked up at the small group. They were all playing in the waves, Newt bickering with Percy, Queenie clinging firmly to Jacob's shoulders, Tina at the water's edge and Theo and Nag splashing and shouting at each other. This vision made him smile.

"No, it's all right, I'm fine on the sand... " he replied.

"Drop your book and come in the water!" Percy commanded, in an authoritative tone.

Credence raised an eyebrow, closed his book in one go before asking provocatively:

"Or what ? "

Percival gave him a defiant look before running towards him. Credence placed his book next to him, rising quickly to try to escape him. But Percy was faster and seemed determined to drag him into the waves. He grabbed him by the waist before placing it on his shoulder and running out to sea. Credence laughed out loud.

"No! Percy, stop! Stop, I'm all dressed! "

But it was useless and in no time he found himself plunged into the water. He straightened up quickly, taking a deep breath, pulling his hair out of his face. He had barely caught his breath when he felt Percival capture his mouth. He kissed him passionately, hugging his waist before lifting him up so that Credence could put his thighs around his waist. The younger one kissed him back with the same fervor, his legs and arms clinging firmly to the perfect bust of the young Graves.

Nagini noisily cleared her throat, and they moved apart to end the kiss, but Percival refused to put Credence down again, burying his face in his shoulder. Nag raised her eyes to the sky, feigning exasperation before saying :

"We get the idea! You're handsome, you're in love, you're sexy, you have a crazy libido! Can we stop this scene, which is forbidden to under-18s, now? "

"Jealous! " Theseus mocked.

She turned towards him to give him a loud slap on the arm, provoking a rather unmanly cry from the Scamanders' eldest brother. The rest of the group approached them, smothering them with a look full of tenderness that made Credence blush terribly.

"They are so cute ! " Queenie exclaimed, as if she was commenting on one of those kitten videos.

"I agree with Nag... " Tina added, with a falsely uncomfortable pout.

"Ah, thank you Tina! "

Credence pulled out his tongue to answer them. Percy took advantage of the diversion to gently bite the skin on his neck, and the younger one had a little hiccup of surprise before hearing Percival snigger against his skin. _Little brat !_ he thought with a smile.

"Oh what the hell, why am I the only one single?" Theseus lamented.

"First: thanks for me, and second: do you really want an answer Theo? "

"Thank you Nag, I already know your opinion on the question... And sorry, but you don't count knowing that you've probably already eaten every single one of your suitors! But that's not fair, I want a Credence too! "

Everybody turned to him, including Percival, who glanced at him with a black look and tightened his grip around Credence's waist. Theo swallowed with difficulty, suddenly realizing what he had just said, before justifying himself:

"It sounded less weird in my head and it's not at all what you think! It's just that... Look at you, damn it! Percy has never been happier and Credence has never had so much confidence in him! They look like two soul mates! I'm fucking jealous! "

Nagini approached him, putting a compassionate hand on his shoulder before saying:

"It will happen Theseus, just try to be a little less dumb... "

"Well, we can wait a long time for that! " Newt laughed.

His brother glanced at him with a murderous look and that only made Tina's boyfriend laugh even harder. Then, Newt, Jacob, Tina and Queenie went for a swim a little further away.

"Well, get your cute little ass over here, Theo, so we can play volleyball! " Nagini said, smacking one of his buttocks without any embarrassment before heading back to the sand.

Theseus leaned towards Credence, and in a tone of confidence, he said with a smile:

"I think she likes me... "

The young artist was unable to hold back a burst of laughter, which caught the attention of Nag, who turned back, frowning.

"What did you just say?" she asked, displeased.

"Nothing, nothing!" Theo laughed, raising his hands in innocence.

"Repeat yourself, little shit ! So that I drown you! " she exclaimed, throwing herself on his back, pulling his hair like a child.

"So much violence!" Percy's best friend complained, passing his arms behind his back to support the weight of Nagini, who clung to his shoulders after resting her head on Theo's head.

It was a strange thing to say, but they were adorable. Credence and Percival watched them walk away with a smile on their faces. 

"Do you think it could happen?" the younger one asked.

"What, Theo and Nag? That would be super weird... " Percival confessed with a little grimace.

"I know, but I want everyone to be happy! "

Percy turned to Credence, looking at him intensely, more in love than ever. He placed kisses in his neck, on his shoulder, the outline of his jaw before capturing his lips. The student took his face in his hands, kissing him back, smiling against his mouth. When they ran out of air, they moved far enough apart so that Credence could lean his forehead against the older one’s. 

"Are you happy?" Percival whispered.

"Completely... "

Percy let his joy show on his face. After another fervent kiss, he put down Credence again, who made a small sound of protest before coming to snuggle up against him. The water caressed his skin, and he felt rocked by the sea, as if the waves had always tried to bring him back against the love of his life.

"I am entirely, passionately, irrevocably and madly in love with you ... " Percival confessed against his ear.

He could never get tired of the avalanches of emotion that such declarations gave him. Nor would he ever tire of the thousands of butterflies, always happier to fly away inside him. He felt so alive and in love that he almost wanted to cry.

"Me too. " he replied.

Credence put his arms around Percival's waist, closing his eyes, huddling up against his chest. The older one hugged him a little closer, resting his cheek on the top of his head. Credence sighed at ease, knowing full well that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

"Can we stay like this for a while? " he asked.

"Of course. Forever my love... "

_The future looked bright, covered with infinite tenderness, love, joy, promises of better days and a sun like no other. Everything was going to be fine. No, it was better than that. Everything was going to be perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading this fanfiction ^^ I hope you enjoyed it and that there were not too many mistakes.  
> Feel free to leave a comment or a kudos if you liked it. Lots of kisses! And see you soon for new adventures! <3


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